I continue to hurt her. Not by fists but by my words and my very existence. Not sure how to make things better. I’m just supposed to be OK with the rude comments and snapping at me. I try my hardest to give her a good life. But I know I am a failure. Just a useless meth addicted pile of shit. I wish I was able to hold a conversation about the Dom/sub thing every time she wants to. But I for whatever reason can’t. And thus she starts being mean and making rude comments. But I suppose I deserve it. I can’t make her happy. I’m too fucked up to actually make someone happy. Too useless to love.