Yesturday was ok. I had a small issue where the girl who worked at my job. Who i never really see came in yesturday. And she kinda gives you the whore impression. She walkes around says sexual things outloud so guys can hear. Or does dances to get attention and i really was afraid of seeing her. I heard her voice while i was working and just knowing how she is i sstarted to get a slight erection.. Which is bad but also good jn a way, because before only extreme things like transexuals or really freaky fetish fantasies could get me offS. So i figure the time away from porn is starting to rewire me back to females. But i tried to block the thoughts out. And when i finally seen her face to face. They all went away. Reality killed it because i really don’t find her sexy. Fantasy sometimes just takes over. But today im actually feeling progress. I had a sex dream last night, i didnt wake up with my pants wet because of it. The dream slipped into my mind once or twice today but nothing big enough go cause a relapse. And the best part is. I was more confident and was able to speak clearer today. Usually all the dopamine in my brain from porn i’d have like a brain fog. And it always stopped me from being myself, i could never talk clear, stuttered alot when nervous. And just could never say the right things because of it all. Now i came yo work today, talked to my boss it was nice and clear. No brain cloudiness. I spoke to my co-workers and even trained a new worker. And i talked and sounded great. Felt like a whole new person. But it comes and goes. Its not fixed but its getting there. Only thing im afraid of is one of my parents are commjng to visit me and every time they come im either relapsing or just starting over from a relapse and j get this social anxiety. I cant look them in the eyes. Or look at them too long when talking. It feels so weird and i know they feel it too. I dont want every time they see me they feel disconnected from me.because that’s how it feels. They’re coming next week and i doubt this stage of the addiction will be over that fast. Because i still have it at work 100%. So in just really freaking out about that. They say thats a side effect of the addiction. But i wonder if they’re pills or anything to help get rid of it faster. But hey. Im still fighting regardless and im really trying this time. I guess it has to get ugly before it gets beautiful. Dont wish me luck Wish me strength..