So I have been writing on my laptop and decided I needed something… Better I suppose. Who better to ask but Kim.
No better subject to start with but a friend.
I’ve always admired her. I realise she’s probably going to be the only person that may ever read this but it must be said.

Since the day we met I felt that I wanted to have her around forever. As lame as it sounds she opened my eyes to reality…
To some truths and has had my back through the worst moments of my life.
It’s different when you grow up with people who know you from the start but often those people disappear.
Kim is not like that. I did expect her to drift when I moved but she really hung in there. She’s the adult version of a real friend. Was there for me when my mother saw my collection of nude photos ( thanks to iCloud - NOT!)
She was there when I needed dating advice or just to vent about crap that most people would just tell me to shut the eff up and get over it.
Most importantly she held my hand ( not literally, that’s gay) when I went though so much pain finding out I was ‘not well’
She told me that the social stigma didn’t matter and all that did was that I took care of myself.
This feels like a dedication lezbo post but I really do owe her.

Which brings me to why today’s post is really about her.

My heart is breaking. She’s going through the toughest time of her life and I am 8hrs away. I can’t do anything to ease her pain. To make her dad recover from this horrible thing that he is experiencing. I can’t put her mum at ease… I can’t comfort her sisters. It kills me.
I keep telling her it will be okay and he will be fine but I feel like that doesn’t make any difference. In fact I feel annoying saying it. Broken freaking record!
What do you do when your friend is hurting? How do you help? How do you offer comfort without being too much? Naggy? Annoying?

Worst thing is before I left sydney 2 of my other close friends lost their dads 12 hours apart. I was lost. I didn’t know how to cope. All I kept thinking about is my own dad. So selfish! I assume it’s normal BUT I feel guilty. I cried for hours on end.
Kim was there for me!
So how do I show her that I’m here for her too, when I can’t do anything to change what’s happening?

Read all her posts tonight. Most made me giggle because I know exactly the facial expressions with some of the rants, I know the tone of voice she would say it in and I know about it all.
Truth be told I was worried I would see my name in it. Like she would tell this virtual world that I was annoying.

Anyway, I seem to turn everything into a story about me. I’m worried about her! I worry about her dad and today I worry about my kid sister.

Saw mum check in at hospital. Miki had fainted and had had a really high fever. She told me everything was ok now but I worry. That kid has spent 40% of her life so far in a hospital. She’s turning 12 tomorrow and it’s the first birthday I am missing. :(

But it’s why I hope to get there as soon as possible this weekend so I can see her and tell her I love her.

This post is way too long. Blah! I need to wash the dishes and get to bed.
Plans to pack for the weekend… Failed.
This seemed like a better use of my time.