Arren- 20- hot and in need of finesse training.

Hopefully next is Zach now that I’ve got my wits about me.

I should just break up with him but .... well.... I’ve been promised a lot and 6 more months is nothing in the long run. If it doesn’t happen in 6 months, I’m out. I’m done with empty promises of wealth and grandeur. I want someone that is willing to work hard for what they have, not find every excuse in the book to get out of it. You work when there is work, not when you want to,

Why am I cheating? I’ve been shut out too many times now. I told him that if he went silent again, it would be the last time.

Well, the last time happened,. He was perfectly willing to toe that line to let me know he was displeased about something but not step over it enough to be considered full-blown silent treatment. He fucked up when he turned away from me multiple times that morning. I swear I felt my heart just shut off. I shouldn’t have to deal with that shit.

He was jealous over an old man with Parkinson’s (“my associate” HAH!!) and a group of guys we specifically tried to NOT be ogled by (“but how long did you wait before you moved? nevermind. don’t tell me, i don’t care” wtf ass?). It’s the dumbest shit ever. He’s 42 for goodness sake!!! You’d think he’d know better but apparently 4.5 years of reminding and threats to leave have fallen on deaf ears .... as so many of my pleas of “just talk to me … please! why are you mad? oh god just please say something!”

Even my body doesn’t respond to him anymore. Never really has… but now it’s obvious.

This is a bad, bad, very familiar path.