Right! a creator cant create what they don’t possess, that’s why I cant write anything right now, cause I don’t possess any distinctive emotion, I only possess, vague ones, that go though the brain just like an idea, no deep emotions. I actually had stopped myself from feeling things; no matter what happened, I stopped processing and just running away. Okay! I recognized this feeling, but why? Why, even after recognizing I can’t come back? Why can’t I just be that person? Why does it take so long?
Also, well, in that drama, it said how one can get power? It said if we love someone, our heart races, but there is no such thing as love. I don’t believe the love that we see in dramas and movies, the love we see on people’s profiles, the love that we see on peoples stories. Actually it’s just a performative thing, just to show they are competent, they are better than the ones who don’t have that, but then again, if they got that, even if they got the illusion of that, they are bound show that off, they will feel a sense of power or rewarding by showing that off, its just that, I don’t even have that illusion, that’s why i get angry at people who show off, I feel hatred, I get happy if someone fails, cause inside me is empty and I want people to feel empty as well, well not to everyone, the ones who shows off.