Today my 19yr old planned to pick up his cousin from school and go back to Tamuning to do laundry. I, on the other hand, already prepared my mind that he would probably end up hanging out a bit later because of a girl - Bee. Now this girl - a 17yr. old who I thought we talked about and got rid of in a romantic way - has made her way back into his heart. He broke up with his long-distance girlfriend, who he said he loved since middle school and blamed his friend at the time for ruining his chance with her, because it was getting “too difficult”. I found out that he started talking to this other girl again. He would lie about her. How do you trust a constant liar? After conversing for hours and coming to a good conclusion and something where I think he really is listening, he does things that don’t - actions speak different from words. I can’t trust someone who is easily influenced. History on girl:
Dated his cousin, my nephew whom we shall call Jay, for a few months and that’s how she was introduced to my son and his friend group. She broke-up with my nephew to date my son’s best friend we’ll call Nathan. Apparently, my nephew showed his violent side - anger (he doesn’t hit girls looks scary when mad that I have to show him my anger so he can calm down) - and it scared her and made her think of the bf before him, so she broke up with him. She ends up having X w/Nath - they dated for like a year, I think. Nathan is in love with her as she was his first but I’m not sure if he’s hers. The stories don’t make sense, but then she breaks up with Nath and dates their other friend Lester for like another year and a half - breaks up w/him and make up and final break up.
While my son’s girlfriend was still living within commuting distance, this girl would hang on my son’s arm and take cutesy photos with him. The girl was dating my nephew at the time and none of them saw it as threatening, but I knew it hurt my son’s girlfriend as she was attending a different school. I even caught my son and Bee sexting and tried to put a stop to that with good communication explaining my side and letting him explain his. He said he understood and it did stop for a while. We WERE at an agreement. I was proud and thought I did well and made me think that if only my dad would’ve allowed this kind of open communication when he parented then the results may have been different.
Anyway, this girls’ mom rents a hotel room for the girl so she can hang out with one gay boy and 3 other straight guys for her birthday. My son, my nephew, and my cousin Dee who is their age. The other two ex-boyfriends are not invited; no other guys in my son friend group want to hang out with her because she is drama. Why would a mom rent a hotel room for her daughter and a bunch of guys?! My son can’t understand the fact that she is full of drama and is using his emotions to lure him in. She wears short skirts, knee highs, the white button up with black cameo under, and a black jacket yet I am told she has low self-esteem and she’s not confident. Guys are dumb and mine is the one falling the hardest. They really are and my son is falling for all the stupid lines. He is under her spell. She has been passed around by the guys in his group, and he probably thinks he can save her while she just takes the attention she wants until she is tired of it.
Do I need to stop fighting it in order for him to give up on this relationship with her? Is that it?
Oh! My son “babysits” her at the store across her school until her mom gets off of work around 4 or 5 pm. Babysits a 17yr old who never needed a babysitter before. Who is used to walking all over Tumon by herself apparently but now needs a sitter, and it’s my son. What a bunch of BS!
He does talk back to me like I’m a nobody when I interrupt him while he’s playing game or talking to her and his friends ALL day long. Like I don’t have his back or support him ever. I have always supported this guy. I took him and kept him even after his dad said I had “options,” when we first found out I was pregnant and all the way to joining the military to secure a little bit of a good future for him. BTW, I’m a Disabled Vet w/PTSD and he also says it’s not his fault I joined the military, because no, he is right. I could’ve just struggled on a paycheck by paycheck in the Gov’t or turned to drugs and unreliable relationships couch surfing like some ppl I know or get into the political seen and eff us up even more. Thanks, kid! For making me regret my decisions in life.

In August he got into an accident. I took him and his best friend to the hospital to get checked on and helped him talk with his boss to relay the message and inform that they both won’t be into work that day. They work at the same place and so he picked up Nathan for work every day. Stayed with them and watched out for them in the hospital. My son made complaints that he needed a car to get to work, so I rented him a car. But just so that he is not completely reliant, I made him pay half of the rental. Trying to keep him responsible. I still got treated with disrespect and attitude. Lied to and put on hold for this girl Bee while he was still dating his girlfriend. I really don’t care about this girl and I’m ready to change him as my beneficiary because I don’t deserve the disrespect I am being given.
My grandmother, his great-grandmother, passed away in July of 2025. In our culture we do a 9day rosary, but ours lasted more than 9days as we were waiting for my grand-mothers’ sisters to fly in for the funeral. Not once did my son attend a rosary after the 9days. He was coping in his own way and I thought, hey, why not. Grandma might say it is ok. However, his coping was to go running with that girl Bee and HER MOM. I explained that coming to the Rosaries with me and his grandparents were a way of familial support and supporting me, but no. It had to be his way.
As explained by him, I am not a priority, and I am annoying with calling and checking in on him. I am no longer a priority of his. I can’t even do this anymore. I want to say all kinds of things because of the pain and disrespect I constantly receive from this kid. I regret how I raised him and regret listening to others on how I was raising him then going the soft parenting route.
My niece runs around and blames me for her being promiscuous and having an eating disorder because I told her she was fat apparently. That girl has never been fat. Her brother was a big boy, and I teased him fat kid coz that’s what everyone else called him, but me calling him that affected him too. Idk what the heck or why I am the one that affected them the most when I said these things. I do know that I would talk to them after I had an anger episode and explain why I was mad and the words I used.
For one, their father cheated on my sister, apparently sexually assaulted a minor on his side of the family, and I was worried for theirs and others safety because this guy ended up being on house arrest and living in my house. I wasn’t told and only found out when I came back from a military training one night and my sister’s husband unlocked the door for me. Now I had this guy living in the same place I slept with my son. To top it off, HE was the one that told me of an incident involving his daughter and my son during the time I was deployed!!!! NOONE in my family told me, and when confronted all they said was that it’s in the past. Just let it go. Wow! The incident came from the accused daughter. Maybe, just maybe, she learned it from her father. And they hate me for having him sent to jail. They HATE ME for that also. That guy lifted the blanket that my little sister was sleeping under when she spent the night at my sister and his apartment and I’m the bad guy. I’m the bad guy for trying to protect my family, the children in the family, and the females. When we had our little family meeting in the garage here, one questioned asked with a response I will NEVER FORGET:
Question: Why did you do it? My sisters’ husbands’ response: “because she wasn’t blood related.” “Because she wasn’t blood related.” Well, my son isn’t blood related to him, and neither was my younger sisters’ daughter - we were only blood related to his children and wife. The minor he did things with was a stepchild of his auntys. His moms sisters stepdaughter. Because she isn’t blood related.