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Page 22 of 57

EXMS so wanted me to see the kids while they are here, and had asked me a while back to do a bunch of things with all of them. Of course, I didn’t know if it was such a good idea, so I always a...

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…even believe this. I can’t let it go. Obsessive thoughts. I prayed at church and cried a little. I had a lunch date and it was weird. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and cried a lit...

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I’ve started four entries since I left for New York and nothing is complete. Got back from my trip last night. Yesterday was a really hard day because, well, I guess because yet another BIG ev...

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Sad day, but what day isn’t lately? Yesterday was sad too, but at least I had friends around in the evening. Yesterday morning I signed up to get a free 30-day pass at a new gym since I let my...

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Wow. Some folks here on OD have told me that seeing EXMS would eventually come back to bite me in the ass, and I think that’s the case here. We’ve seen each other quite a bit during the last c...

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I’m trying to get my head above water. You should see it here. I’m in my office. I have let piles of papers, newspapers and magazines pile up in every nook and cranny of my cube. Today I dec...

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Yeah, so I escaped from reality over the Fourth of July weekend. Hung with the EXMS. It was actually really, really nice in most respects. Weird some of the time (like the fact that we encoun...

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I’m struggling some more, and I can’t avoid OD any longer. EXMS and I were together over the weekend. Almost all of it. And it felt soooooooooo soothing. Again, like I rubbed salve on the wo...

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Sometimes I find that I list out things I want to write about and then never return to do it. Well, I sorta wrote about Lovely Leah’s wedding in the last entry and alluded to the fact that it w...

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..but don’t have time to really dig into right now. Consider this my personal thought-starter page: Lovely Leah’s Wedding Weekend: The torturous task turned labor of love that was getting Sw...

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Most probably saw this coming…and deep down I did too. In a nutshell: –EXMS and I had a therapy session together this week. It went pretty well, and we agreed in the therapist’s office to do ...

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Not really sure how it happened, but it appears I’ve made a new text friend (?). Will detail later if it blossoms into a true friendship. Weird, he checks on me from time to time to make sure ...

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I’m procrastinating at work. Coming down with a cold. Presentation tomorrow and I just can’t get into it. It’s now been well over a month since the breakup, and I’m not feeling any better. I...

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Hangin in. I think I only cried between 6 and 7 times today. It hit me once while I was walking down the hall before lunch and saw this dude (obviously not working) visiting his girlfriend in ...

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This one’s late. But what the hell. My job, though I’m struggling to keep up right now Good friends, still Events to attend after work More later…

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I should just start writing normal entries and then add the “grateful” stuff later, eh? I still can’t seem to snap out of anything right now. It is still so overwhelmingly heartbreaking that I...

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Is this really the anger stage? Mostly, I’m morbidly sad. And it is mixed with allllllll kinds of other things. Yes, anger. Guilt and regret. Shock. Fear. Anxiety. I am wholly consumed ...

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Trying to get this one in under the wire. Today I’m grateful for: My darling friend, RB who not only went to brunch with me but stayed with me ALL DAY LONG and talked about whatever I wanted...

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Seriously? I’d rather you kill me now. Drunken pool party Stupid conversations with exes Stupid conversations with girlfriends Stupid obsessions with ex-fiance’s fucking match pr...

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I am writing because I have nothing left to do with my fingers. Yes, there are some things I could be doing here at work, but today is another struggle. I am leaving at noon to go with my boss...

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I think I’m doing better, then I sink deeper. I am struggling to find things to be grateful for tonight. Here goes. I will have a party to go to tomorrow night so that I won’t be sitting and...

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Been meaning to do this for a while now (at her request from her diary)…and just now getting around to it…. <img src=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/GingerDelicious/Ginger%20Snap/DSC0...

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How long is this gonna take? I really need to stop breaking down in tears in the office. I feel like this is worse than if he’d died because I KNOW he’s out there trolling match like a fiend a...

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Annnnnd here we go again. Today I’m grateful for: Actually RUNNING this morning…yeahhhhhhh…2.25 miles, which is good considering (A) I have so NOT wanted to run lately, and (B) I woke a littl...

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Gah, today’s therapy was harrrrrrrd. I was open and honest with regards to my side of what happened to make EXMF snap and leave me. Put it this way, I pushed his buttons for the last time, I g...

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