Raw Masculinity in Phoenix
- April 22, 2019, 11:22 p.m.
- |
- Public
Raw masculinity is not what you think it is. It’s not what I thought it was.
There are at least 2 different kinds of masculinity. There’s the usual kind, or what I like to think of as caveman masculinity. I think we probably all know that guy, the one who has to be the big, strong protector of us poor, weak little women. They think it’s chivalrous or something when really it’s just insulting, to us and to them. They tend to be overbearing and over-confident and overwhelming. The bulldoze their way into your life not because they are interested in actually knowing you but because they see you as… I don’t know, something to be conquered? They have to assert their powerful maleness in every way. It must always be on display, “Look at me, look at how manly I am!” They have to tell glory-day stories. Their ego might as well be a giant neon sign over their heads that screams *I’M MASCULINE!
Guys, you don’t have to be like that. You really don’t.
I’ve witnessed some serious raw masculinity lately and, let me tell you, it looks a lot like a guy being genuinely sincere, unabashedly expressing emotions and thoughts. It looks like a guy with ideas and intelligence and creativity, a guy you can talk to, and who wants to talk to you. It looks like music and art and curiosity. Raw masculinity has no swagger. It has no need to feel dominant. It looks like respect.
It looks like freedom.
To be in the presence of someone with such healthy masculinity feels like standing in the sun on the first really nice, warm day of spring. It bathes you in light and warmth and makes you feel full rather than overwhelmed. It feels like the surface of a small mountain lake on a windless day. It feels like peace and contentment. It feels like comfort. It feels like coming home. It feels like acceptance. It feels like safety without ever having to be told that you’re safe.
It feels like love, but not that normal kind of love, not that insane spark-that-becomes-an-inferno love, the kind that flares and burns itself out.
That’s the only kind of love I’ve ever experienced (romantically speaking, obviously).
It feels like love that always was and always will be, unconditional, unqualified. It’s a steady flame, unwavering across decades and miles. It feels like a full circle.
Okay, yeah, this entire concept is new to me, and trying to put all of these thoughts and feelings into words was really difficult. I’m sure I could expand on all of this, and maybe I will some day, but I am finding myself at a loss for words at the moment.
Last updated April 23, 2019
Superposition ⋅ April 28, 2019
Hmmmm, "raw masculinity". I like that word, I like the concept as well. I think I know what you're talking about...I think I've seen it before.
I have a lot of trouble with masculinity, and men in general. I spend most of my time with women. I have never been seen as masculine, and I have never seen myself as masculine, and I've always been okay with that because I've come to the conclusion that masculinity, in itself, is a construct.
However, masculine and feminine energies are undeniable things throughout nature, so much so that entire languages have been built around the concept...and the anima and animus are also very real.
I don't ever know what I'm talking about...
...unless I do, and in that case I know everything.
🌈 JustWillow 🦄 Superposition ⋅ April 28, 2019
Yes! Masculine and feminine energies are very much undeniable things, and there are so many different types of each. I've known as many extremely toxic females as males.
Gender itself is a societal construct. Too many parents raise their children with skewed ideas of what they should be, the type of masculine or feminine energies they should possess based on what's between their legs.
Now that I've met a man who I view as the opposite of what society generally deems as masculine, I became able to see that masculinity (and femininity) falls somewhere on a very broad spectrum. Before, the types of masculinity I've encountered were generally rough and dominant and self-serving. Now that I've witnessed a completely different type of masculinity, I've discovered that it's not masculinity I have an issue with (as a feminist), it's unhealthy masculinity.
Pretty much everything you say makes perfect sense to me :)