I am a HSP in Days of My Destiny

I can finally put a name to some of my needs that have always gone unheard/unvalidated. I am a Highly Sensitive Person.

This means my brain does not filter out certain noises, for example, that other people’s brains can filter out. So if you and I were having a conversation, your brain would prioritise the sound of my voice over all the background noise, such as traffic, or other people talking, or dogs barking or babies crying etc etc. My brain doesn’t do that with as many background sounds as yours might.

It also means that my capacity to “deal” with noise is less than others’. As such, my sensory overload happens much sooner, and when it does, I really do actually just need to retreat.

This doesn’t exclude the sounds of my own family in my own home. My seven year old, who likes to talk a lot, is someone I need a lot of space from most evenings. She seems to talk endlessly, and the sound of her voice begins to rasp at my ear drums and I begin to seethe. Thankfully, it’s usually around bedtime anyway and we happen to have a bedtime routine where L reads to the girls and then I go in and sing to them. So in the time that he is reading, I get a bit of head space and I can gather myself in order to do bedtime peacefully.

Sometimes, though, because of my sensory overload, even the sound of my own husband’s voice as he reads to my children.... is also too much. And I really do just need pure silence.

Sometimes, after we have put the children to bed, we might sit quietly for a while, exhausted from whatever has gone on in the day. And my dog will be laying nearby, sleeping and snoring. And the sound of his snores makes my skin crawl if I have had sensory overload.

When I am like this, even the sound of footsteps across the wooden floors in our small home is too much.

I also struggle at shopping centres, with the constant sound of music, people talking and walking, and other sounds like coffee machines and beeps of teller machines and babies crying and footsteps. I’ve never been into “shopping” like other girls and guys. I find it utterly exhausting if I’m there for more than an hour. Mum mentioned to me how relaxing it is to simply go and do the groceries because you can meander about from aisle to aisle and not have to think, and my facial expression said something like, Are you kidding me?????? I told her I don’t find it relaxing AT ALL, and that I take a list so I can get in and out as quickly as possible most of the time (and in fact I have purposely memorised where most things are to this end).

It’s unbelievable just how powerful sensory overload is.

The good thing is that as an adult who runs her own household, I can set the parameters of when I need space, and how much noise I can handle (most of the time). And I have a super loving husband who respects and supports me so much and is willing to understand me as much as he can and do anything to make my life super easy. In this regard I am richly blessed.

Last updated May 07, 2018