it’s been a while~ 2026 is finally here and so much has happened. i got to meet so many new people, turned 21, returned to therapy, thrived at work (and school—can’t believe i’m still running for honors despite juggling a job). i really just focused on myself, my healing, my lane since leaving my ex. and i don’t want to dwell on the fact that i left a relationship. instead, i want to focus on the adventure, all of the chaotic good that has happened to me since then… :)
i started wearing a much softer look. let go of the bold black eyeliner, and started wearing makeup that enhanced my natural features instead of hiding them. then it just so happened that i was getting attention all of a sudden. i really have no other way to put it, so i apologize for the lack of a better term. in november alone, i rejected eight guys—and i don’t even use dating apps… i learned to set boundaries and put my foot down when i don’t feel like something does not serve me anymore. a lot of people tell me that i bring this certain aura that draws people in and catches their attention. i think it’s important for everyone to bring themselves with a good self-concept that enhances their confidence and for people to be their true genuine selves through expression! i try to be that. :,) yet somehow i get these comments everywhere. i actually have no idea how to handle with the influx of attention because i’m just trying to be me. i’m grateful and flattered, really, but i feel kind of bad because i don’t really know how to show it.
when i think about it, i do find beauty when i look in the mirror, but i look around, at the life outside of me, and find that the beauty outside of my person is much more astounding and surreal. when i take notice of nature, of people bustling around, when i smile at strangers, i feel that there is something much more beautiful about humanity that we should all enjoy. thinking this way has truly allowed me to become more in touch with grace. there is beauty everywhere for all to see.
at the moment i am in no rush to find love. it’ll come when i’m meant for it. i’m happy and thriving in my career, and slowly i am actively getting rid of any remnant of bitterness in my heart. 2025 was such a good year, and although it was a year of heartbreak, i learned that there was so much more in store for me than just losing one person, because i gained so much more than i prayed for. i’ve never felt more like Me than now. there is something so inextricably powerful about feeling like you’re getting closer to your ideal self, to the identity you once lost, and to reshape it so that it becomes more You.
just really grateful for where i’m at. i feel so whole. can’t wait for what’s up ahead. :)
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