Overthinking in Book 1

I overthink, constantly and always 

This will never change 

And so, I've thought and thought about all the ways and all the reasons why...

All the red flags and all complications 

For why I should leave you..

A thousand times I have thought these things 

And I have thought a thousand times all the reasons through why you should leave me.  Every bad habit, every neurotic moment, every misplaced word 

I have thought it a thousand times over...

I have thought the reasons why you should leave me. I've thought a million times why I am not worth it.

I'm really not

But even though all these thoughts and all this overthinking... I also overthink the other side 

I think about why I should stay and I think about why you should stay and if we both think that neither of us are worth it,..

Well I think that's why I'm still here 

I've thought about how sometimes we don't have to explain we just know 

I think about the best friend vibes, the jokes, and the intimate moments 

And I think about this over and over again, and I see it from every which way that I possibly can because my mind just won't shut the fuck up 

It won't let me. I can't sleep anymore

I wake up hard, and frustrated and annoyed

But confident in the fact that I've seen it all

I've seen both sides countless ways and I'm still here... I choose to be here