The Next Great Breakthrough in My Thoughts

My wife said something to me the other day that sent chills down my spine and has prompted me to reevaluate my current position. “that so reminded me of your father, if you need to take that deep of a breath to take a bite of something you have a problem.” The truth be told I have many problem and I am going to try and take a step back and look at those problems and what I can do to fix them. I have been told by a good friend that putting pen to paper is very cleansing so I have made a goal for myself to spend the month of October “cleaning” myself. I plan to write everyday for 31 days straight. Some of it might be dribble some might be the next great breakthrough in clinical psychology. Who knows!

I am getting a new tech guy today and I am wracked with guilt over the dismissal of the previous support person. I have been using him for 3.5 years now and for the most part it has been a fairly smooth ride. The problem is that he is letting things go to a point that is unacceptable. The guilt comes from the fact that his wife is dying of cancer and his focus is on that instead of work. This makes me sound like an ass I realize but I have to keep my place running smoothly and his company does not seem to able to do that any longer. This is really bothering me in part because of the loss of my mother to cancer. I am meeting him today at 1 to let him know. The sad part is that I don’t think he even realizes how upset I am over the whole thing. Maybe he can bring on some quality personal and I can bring him back next year.

The living room is finally fixed and is now the dining room. I thought that I would hate it but I now find it very comfortable. It also makes eating dinner with the family better. I can’t really say why, I assume because it is in a room by itself it now seems like we are taking time apart from the day to do something together. That is a nice feeling considering how little we do has a family. Every day we are all pulled in different directions and now that the kids are getting older and doing things it is even worse.

I teacher really pissed me off yesterday. They held 4 of their kids back from my class and sent them 35 minutes late. No notice or asking they just did it. Now for those of you who are not teachers that might not seem like much but when you have 4 kids walk into your room and say what are we supposed to be doing and you are already 35 minutes into a new concept it is a little difficult to bring them up to speed. So do I ignore the other 24 kids in the room and teach those 4 or the other way around. The really bad part is this same teacher would go bat shit crazy if I did the same thing to her. I spent a good part of the day keeping myself from going to telling her off. I don’t seem to have a middle ground. I either fly off the handle or say nothing. I have to learn to find something in the middle.

Last updated September 30, 2014