Narcissistic Abuse in Talk Radio

Narcissism is a weird thing in pop culture. It seems like it’s hard to take seriously because any asshole gets called a narcissist. but I think the truth is, it seems over applied because it’s actually common.

Everyone without NPD has narcissistic behavior. Narcissism is an essential human ability to form a personal narrative of events that favor the self. The story created de-emphases events that are out of one’s control and one’s perception of personal responsibility for bad. It also amplifies the positive perception of one’s responsibility for good. It explains and excuses in a way that serves ourselves. A healthy amount of narcissism is a required skill to gain recognition and reward.

Covert narcissism amplifies one’s negative or helpless role. The covert (or inverted) narcissist behaves this way because they will be supplied with a denial as a response.

People diagnosed Narcissistic Personality disorder definitely aren’t by definition abusive. People with NPD deserve no more general maligning than any other personality disorders. However, as with any other personality disorder, when combined in a person who is also abusive, these two traits interact. This “co-morbid”¹ situation creates a recognizable pattern. Victims tend to see see these patterns unfold more than once in their lives.

Essential to the development of narcissistic abuse is an unhealthy response to insecurity. This follows the development of excessive harmful psychological defense mechanisms. The most useful defense mechanism to the narcissistic abuser is psychological projection. With projections the narcissist will observe their insecurities in others and not themselves. (Unless they are in a covert/inverted state)

Codependent supplies are typically the closest relationships to narcissistic abusers. Their bond creates an emotional interest in attempting to take responsibility for what is projected on them.

Most abusers were an innocent and a victim at some point in their lives and have learned from what happened to them. In the case of narcissistic abuse, they would have once been codependent supply.

I am interested in exploring my idea of the narcissistic prodrome. I believe this prodrome is a period of time when a narcissist develops the defense mechanisms in response to their increasing insecurities. They are not totally domineering; They could be love-bombing. They are in a process of learning to be manipulative and seek supply. It is my hope that this often begins unconsciously and selfishly, but not maliciously.

It is my theory that narcissistic abuse, like any type of abuse, is not a stable state of mind in the abuser. Narcissistic abuse is actually a complicated cycle of different, contradictory states. Many parts of the cycle are good ones. These people need lots of good things to offer, else they will not find supply.

Narcissistic abuse tends to only occur in private or among a loyal group. The duplicitous nature of an abusive individual with a different public image means there are more of them than we can actually estimate. There is definitely a need for victims to become savvy to their own tendency to become supply. My hope is that we can escape being supply or becoming the abuser in response to one’s own trauma. Although few come back from being an abuser, I hope it is possible that anyone can.