NJM 22 in NoJoMo 2019
- Nov. 23, 2019, 11:46 a.m.
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- Public
Write about a time you had to walk away from someone you love.
Me cutting my sister Kim out of my life.
She’s had a drinking problem since I was born, if not earlier than that. Most memories of her, she’s drunk. In the 80s, I would drink with her. I was a kid. But I started drinking on my own when I was probably around 12. Still that’s pretty fucked up that she had no problem drinking with her 13 year old sister.
It got worse over the years. That is the major reason her first husband left her though he did it in such a wrong way I was pissed at him, too.
She would bring me bar hopping when I was 17. One night I was babysitting the kids, and she came home with a couple of bottles of Merlot. Of course she was already drunk at that time, but I was an addict myself so I was all like “Party time!”
Her second husband, the Manatee (a horrible insult to manatees) came home about 11. He casually throws a bag of coke and some pills on the coffee table. So what does she do? She cuts lines on the table (it was glass). Her son, who was pretty young at the time (I could look and do the math, but why?), came downstairs to see what the hell was going on. The music got loud, we got loud so on and on. I got him to go back to bed. I still don’t know if he saw anything or not.
Anyhoo, decades later, it’s still the same shit, only worse. She’s tried to commit suicide twice.. or three times. After one of the attempts Pam offered to get her up here, get her to rehab, then she could stay with us until she got on her feet. She was all for it until she heard “rehab” and that our house was a sober house.
Last year, I just had enough. She was triggering me bad enough I was going out and punching the fence post.
The last time I actually talked to her, I told her to call me when she sobered up. Of course she’s never sober.
She called right before her daughters wedding, so drunk I could barely understand her(I never answer her calls. Voicemail first). Something about me cutting her out of my life, and she wanted to make sure that I really have. I didn’t call her.
I love her, But I hate her. For my own sanity I had to walk away.
I… had to.
Kristi1971 ⋅ November 28, 2019
My first boyfriend. He had cheated on me and then broke up with me. The emotional turmoil I felt at 16 was beyond it. We eventually got back together again, but when he was spending a lot of time with an older woman (when he was 19 and she was in her early 20s), I could not handle it. I lost my trust in him when he cheated with me, and I couldn't bear to think of him repeating that with anyone. I broke up with him. It was pure heart-ache at the time.
After my divorce , I saw him again and we talked about why I broke up with him. He explained that he never had those feelings for the older woman and nothing ever became of them. They were just friends. I explained the damage his cheating had done to my trust of him. It actually felt good to clear the air like 18 years later. he admitted he still loves me. Never stopped.
Gilraent Kristi1971 ⋅ November 28, 2019
That first heart break. It sticks with you. Even though Scott and I are friends, and have been since ... hell. I think he apologized 2 years after he broke up with me, (so I was around 17 or 18) I there's still a sting from it 30 years later . hmph.