Trying So Hard to Make a Comeback...Really in And So It Goes
- Sept. 18, 2019, 9:08 a.m.
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- Public
I struggle to express myself these days. I need to get back to the chronicled entries about my daughter. None of it is good. It’s soul sucking but I need to just get it up here and move on. I have not seen my therapist in two years. I made an appointment to see her on Thursday morning. I have no idea what I’ll say to her. Maybe I’ll just sit in her office and soak up her “safeness” and serenity. Maybe I’ll just sob. It’s a crap shoot.
This is a photo of a framed photo of my husband. It hangs in our great room. It is how he looked when we met. He was getting ready to retire from the British embassy in Washington D.C. He is aboard the sailboat he kept on the Potomac. It was named The Royal Salute, a sloop 40 feet long. After he retired he and a friend from the Australian embassy sailed it down to Florida. We kept it about a year and then sold it. I was not/am not a boating kind of girl unless it’s a cruise ship. Until this year, for the last twenty years, we have always taken a transatlantic cruise either to or from UK or Europe. My husband is older than I am. He turned 82 this summer. He has a very bad back and can’t do a lot of walking any more. Cruise ships are big. International airports like Miami or Heathrow are huge. He’s a proud stubborn man and refuses to catch a ride on the airpot golf cart thingie. Consequently, we decided no more international travel. The UK kids/grandkids will have to come here to see us. We will travel domestically here in the states if we want to go somewhere. I’m not sure if I’m glad or sad. I’ll let you know…
Last updated September 21, 2019
Marg ⋅ September 18, 2019
Thing is if it's really not enjoyable for him to travel any more and takes too much out of him it's not worth it. And at least you've done your fair share of travelling so you'll have lots of happy memories to look back on! Would you say a cruise is the best idea for a holiday if you have health issues and don't have much energy?
Sho ⋅ September 18, 2019
For me, I just bury the past. I don't believe in closure. I see no reason to dwell on things that I cannot control. We expect happy endings. The problems with your daughter are your daughter's problems. Not yours.
noko ⋅ September 18, 2019
My friend Mrs. Sherlock is going through this with her 80 + year old husband. She travels without him but keeps telling me she is going to need to stop soon because he misses her and is less able to deal. Back in the day I used to think a lot in advance about what to say to my therapist when I saw one regularly. I have one now I talk to on the phone to every few weeks and I just say whatever comes up. I think I am not trying to figure anything out anymore. I need the support is all. It helps.
Kate ⋅ September 21, 2019
You can come see me and Dimples. Well, as soon as the guest room is ready! I'll get out the purple sheets! (Who am I kidding, I'll go buy purple sheets!)
Kate ⋅ September 21, 2019
On a not-so-light note: I'm glad you are going to see a therapist (I'm back in therapy, too), even if you just cry for 50 minutes. You MUST let your guard down sometime.