I’ve been bed ridden for most of today. Yesterday as well.
I did a healing thing on a friend, kinda like distance reiki, I don’t think it will work, we’ll see. It sort of doesn’t work when you’re sick.
Ive had nausea with the headaches for two days now. I get really tired. My bones are sore and achy.
It’s really weird but I pick up on other people’s ailments. When my brother was in a coma with a brain injury I was suffering. I was getting really weird and full on headaches. But now I’m getting joint discomfort, in all my knuckles, knees, hips, shoulders, I’ve never really had joint problems, I wonder if it’s a family member or usually it’s someone I really care about, if it is they’ve got arthritis problems going on…
I stopped talking to most of my family a while ago. They just constantly let me down, or they were getting really hurtful and abusive, the things they come out with, I don’t want to hear it.
My Grandmother, maternal grandmother, was a drug taking, drug dealing hippy in her day, alcoholic, anti establishment and then just anti anything nice and happy.
As kids were always around her, I spent a lot of time at her house growing up because I wanted to get away from my older brother who has always resented everything I am, and my mother. I could write books about her, but she’s not worth the oxygen, the time, the keystrokes. Think of the awful step mother, well I just had an awful mother.
Anyway, I was thinking I’m possibly picking up on my grandmother’s vibes, but I had to stop talking to her. One of my elders says it’s dimentia. Im not convinced. The things she was coming out with were so deeply hurtful it was deep. I’ve been so good and kind to my grandmother over the years, I’ve been good and kind to a lot of people, but I’m done. There’s no excuse or satisfactory explanation for that type of nastiness. I’ve questioned where it was coming from. Usually it’s my mother who is that down right abusive. I wonder if she’s been having the usual bitch sessions where all they do is sit around and go on and on about me. My uncle said don’t do that. Don’t even think along those lines, you’ll just get really upset.
I said but I’m already upset with what came out of her mouth. My cousin said she’s a nutcase, she’s been mad for a long time, don’t listen to it.
So just like I did to my mother 5 years ago, I’ve switched her off. I’m not going to go there, won’t talk to her, don’t want to hear it.
But I wish if it is her who I’m picking up on, I wish she’d just leave me alone.
I don’t understand how people can be so abusive towards the people they are the closest too. You don’t say those things to someone you love. It’s not love.