just like that, he’s saying “hey you” and sending me pictures of the gourmet meal he cooked. like nothing ever happened. like i hadn’t recently feared for his actual life and like he hadn’t ignored my messages for weeks on end.
just like that, just like always.
((but i am so glad to hear from him, it’s all i’ve wanted.))
several times this week he’s sent messages telling me what he’s up to, and it feels so good in the moment. it’s all that i want when he’s gone. if only it could last forever.
i can’t even express what this roller coaster of emotions is like, what it does to a person… and to know you can never get off the ride. wouldn’t even if you had a choice…