I need a nap in Ramblings

  • May 9, 2019, 8:49 p.m.
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  • Public

I’m acting like a cranky toddler today. Like, I’m so sick of having responsibilities lol. Work, running kids all over, activities. Activities and school are almost over then we can lounge at the pool all day, I’ll work from my beach chair with my drink in my hand.

We went on this weekend retreat for wounded warriors. It was nice. My husband got to go fishing and me and the kids stayed behind and did activities around the place… they had bouncy houses and stuff. The food was good. I gained like 4 pounds then lost it the next day. My body has settled into this weight. A cheat meal doesn’t kill me anymore. Maybe because I’ve built up muscle with daily double gym workouts. It’s burning extra calories or something.

Cheat meals do kill me physically though. I feel bloated, gross, and have acid reflux when I overeat now.

When we got back from the trip, Reed stopped by the house. My husband texted him and asked him to pick up a package from our front porch so he was dropping that off to him. Of course this was after he got off work and my husband was already in bed so I was dealing with him on my own. Luckily he came out of the bedroom and Reed was like “There ya go man” and gave him his stuff. Then he sat on the couch talking about my Disney stuff in the house and saying how he doesn’t care anything about Disney and wouldn’t ever want to really go there but maybe Universal.

I swear it was not even 2 days ago we were texting and he said “I wish I could go to Disney with you.” He even said what he would want to do while there, where he would want to eat, what characters he would want to see, who his favorites are, etc. I told him we were getting a condo next year and they should come and he was all into that. Totally initiated this conversation after I mentioned I had bought new shirts for our upcoming trip. Now all of a sudden he has no interest in it? It’s maddening. And this is just an example, he does this all the time. But I was already pissed at him so this just added fuel to the fire.

I don’t know why I feel this rift with him. I can’t really get over it. We had an uncomfortable conversation that was really long overdue, and since then I’m just ready to completely cut him out of my life. He likes to ghost me (and my husband for that matter). He says he gets stressed out and it makes him withdraw from his friends. Well that went on for months then he texted me telling me he was actively looking for a sex partner on dating sites. Like.. you can text random girls on dating sites but you can’t answer my text message asking if you’re still alive. He just made me question how important I am to him and how much does he really like being friends with us.

It doesn’t help that he’s wishy washy as hell. He will say one thing to your face then turn around and say another to someone else. He’s been like this since I’ve known him… like he says what people want to hear instead of formulating he own thoughts.

Irregardless to any complaints I have about him right now (because I’m pissed at him), I miss him and care alot about his friendship. I’ve known him a long, long time. I think our history has just jaded our future as friends.

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