Messed up beyond belief! in Ramblings

  • Feb. 17, 2019, 4:37 p.m.
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  • Public

This is such a ridiculous and long, drawn out thing. So there was once this girl that I knew online (in some of the same circles as you all, I’m sure… so if you know who I’m talking about please just keep all this private. This is a sensitive situation and I seriously just need to get my thoughts out right now.) So I was friends with her first. Then, her boyfriend started talking to me. They were living together. And I was a slut. And he started sending me messages and sexting with me and just outright coming on to me. He sent me tons of pics, and I think I sent some back. We met up once but nothing really happened. We went shopping and to Olive Garden and he jacked off in the car while i awkwardly watched. Anyway, I think his girlfriend (my “friend”) found out because she just disappeared from my life and deleted me from all social media and he disappeared for a while as well. But he came back, like he always manages to. I stopped entertaining him sexually a LONG time ago, because I realized he is a piece of shit. He was married to this girl by this point and always talking bad about her and how he wanted to have sex with me (and probably 30 other people.) He was spending all of their money on strippers, too.

So yes, I realize I was also a piece of shit. After growing up, I realize this.

So I hear through the grapevine that this girl has passed away due to a crazy accident. I felt so sick over that. I looked up her obit but there was not much information. I then looked on Facebook and found her profile, no information there but they changed it to a “Remembering…” status which made my stomach turn. She was my age when she passed… so, so young. I found the husbands profile, and I’m like OKAY DO NOT TOUCH FUCKING ANYTHING. I WILL LET YOU GO IN BUT YOU CAN’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!! So I looked at his profile, saw in detail all that happened, and backed out slowly.

Reading about it was more haunting than anything. It scared the hell out of me. And made me sick that her husband was a piece of shit and she deserved way better. I started thinking about how unpredictable life is and how fragile we all are. What if I died? What about my children? Who would take care of them? I was so messed up for DAYS over this shit.

Then it happened. Not even a few days later, jackass husband messages me on Facebook. I was drinking that night and already really messed up about the situation and he asked me if I knew what happened to his wife. He said he knew we were once friends and just wanted to contact me to tell me what happened. I was kind and said I’m so sorry, that I knew but wasn’t sure it would be appropriate to reach out (HINT HINT jerkface.) Then he starts volunteering information about how he is still hurt and if I offered to come over he would just want to be friends. (Yes, because I would offer that after I haven’t seen or expressed any interest in you in over a decade. OK.) But then volunteered that he is searching for a “cuddle buddy.” Its been only TWO MONTHS yall and she is still in an urn awaiting a ceremony.

I snapped. I was drinking, yes. But I was not kind. I asked him “Can you answer a question honestly for me.” He said yes so I asked him if he felt relieved she had died. He said YES! And he said he felt unburdened and that there was someone else and he’s happy that now he won’t have to choose between this other woman and asking his wife for a divorce.

I was about to THROW UP! I was sorry I asked but I honestly already knew the truth. It is so disgusting. And he went on to send me pictures of the other girl and tell me that she will be at the ceremony where they scatter his wife’s ashes and that he wants to get his dick wet for the first time in years. Apparently his wife wasn’t giving him sex.

I found all of this just so incredibly disturbing, I wish I could articulate my feelings better. Maybe I’m just being totally unreasonable. But it had me wondering what my own husband’s reaction would be if I suddenly died from a freak accident. I accused him of being happy if i died and told him I think we need a divorce. Sounds reasonable, right? The scariest part is that he didn’t even act like he was shocked by this.. just said he would try to do better and now he keeps the dishes washed. lol.


Dirty Numb Angelboy February 17, 2019

Well this entry fucked me up for a bit. I do appreciate that you included everything (to my knowledge) about yourself being just as bad as the husband. Sad day.

lessoff February 18, 2019

I have no clue who this is about but im sorry her husband was a jerkface.

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