Last weekend, my step-father cornered me and I got stuck in this incredibly long speech. Essentially, he called me a 40-year-old single loser. First of all, I was livid. I’m finally getting on track with things, but then something has to come and knock the wind out of my sails. It didn’t throw me off-kilter too much, but it was very bothersome.
It was very clear that he hasn’t ever bothered to get to know anything about me. He was completely surprised when I told him that my health took a nose-dive (“I remember your mother saying something about you having a disease when we got married” which was in 1995, by the way). He didn’t even know I graduated university, he thought I just quit. I just couldn’t believe the things he said to me.
So add that to the pile of reasons I need to get the fuck out of here.
Fernando started calling me again, begging me to fuck him. Nope. Not going there. I told him the truth, that I liked him a lot but I just didn’t see us going anywhere (mainly because he’s super dramatic, but I kept that to myself). He keeps texting me but I’m just letting it go.
Lots of little things have been going on, but mainly, I’m just plugging away, editing my book, packing up my shit and applying to any job within my skillset.
That was one of the things I said in my rebuttal to my stepfather. I’m not just going to get any job because I supposedly need to have money coming in. I need to find something in my field, in my paygrade (because I am WAY overqualified for entry-level) and away from here. He didn’t seem to understand and I simply looked at him and said, “I have a piece of paper sitting in a box underneath my desk that cost me $46,000 when I graduated in 2015. Not it’ll cost me $55,000 because I haven’t gotten a new job. Every day I don’t have work in my field, that degree gets more expensive and more useless because 10,000 other people are getting it every year. Trust me, I know what I’ve gotten myself into.” That finally shut him up because he’s not used to numbers that big.
It just bothers me. Neither of my little brothers are going to university or even community college. They both have good paying jobs, but they have absolutely NO upward mobility because of their choice not to go to school. I even tried to frighten one of my little brothers by applying for a management position in his department with the city.
“I was going to apply for that job!”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been working for the city for three years, they’ll never hire someone from outside the department.”
“Maybe not, but you don’t have the criteria for the position. You don’t have a degree and they will only consider applicants with degrees.”
I know that that seems harsh, especially because when they called me for an interview, I declined, but the truth is, college needs to be available to everyone. People SHOULD go to college. I know this is what my youngest brother calls “elitist” but American high school education is sloppy, and that is why my little brother now thinks Mexican-Americans are stealing his job opportunities (along with “elitists”) even though HE IS MEXICAN-AMERICAN. He has no idea who Cesar Chavez is. He has no connection with anything outside of this town, his church, whatever my stepfather tells him, and whatever YouTube video he decides is more believable than trained professionals.
This is the new normal. People are stupid (I’m related to many of them) and believe that smart people are out to “get” them and limit their opportunities. What a world. What an America.