Gimme some truth, don't you wish that you could kick it with me
Jan. 29, 2019, 3:16 p.m.
CW: Diet shit!
Man, I just feel better. I JUST FEEL BETTER THAN I DID A MONTH AGO, and it’s nice.
Tryna hold onto that, because after shitting on my food choices all weekend/not running, I’m feeling that desire to skirt back into full-on “fuck it” territory. So here are some reminders as to why this is a very good thing for me.
BEING MORE SOCIABLE AT WORK. When I’m not tired/shitty feeling, I’m way more tolerant of other humans.
MORE FOCUSED AT MY JOB. Less procrastination (though still loads of procrastination lol), more energy to get shit done, less clockwatching in the afternoon.
I AM GETTING STRONGER AND THAT’S RAD. I’m excited to step it up beyond running. Trying yoga, some light weightlifting, etc. I’ll take a pic this week as my “before” and see how far I go.
I’m not back on keto but I am far more aware of what I’m putting in my face, which is really what it’s about for me. Force myself to pay the fuck attention and not eat mindlessly. (I DID NOT HAVE A CUPCAKE FOR BREAKFAST, LOL.)
Getting more shit done at home! Tho it’s a hot mess in there right now. Mostly cos my evenings are dedicated to cooking and cleaning the kitchen. I WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO MOVE TO A PLACE WITH A FUCKING DISHWASHER ONE DAY.
BURNING through podcasts instead of TV and I’m loving it. Currently working my way through Hello from the Magic Tavern, and I’m completely in love with it.
I don’t spend any time in my bedroom unless I’m getting ready for bed, which… Idk, it feels different somehow.
I DON’T EVEN WANT TO WATCH TV. IT MAKES ME SAD TO THINK ABOUT SITTING DOWN AND BINGING SHIT FOR SEVERAL HOURS.
Okay I still can’t fall asleep like normal but I’M SLEEPING MOSTLY HEALTHY SLEEP!
If I get stoned but stay in motion, I don’t munch on shit nearly as much, so I’m not taking in AS absurd a number of calories in the evenings.
RUNNING FEELS GOOD. MY BRAIN FEELS GOOD WHEN I GET HOME. MY BODY FEELS GOOD. IT’S LIKE IT’S GOOD FOR YOU OR SOME SHIT.
The anxiety thought spirals still attack me nightly, but the more I get used to them, the easier they are to tackle without needing constant distraction.
That said, I still have podcasts and weed to occupy my brain. I CAN ESCAPE REALITY AND STILL FEEL HEALTHY, so why the fuck would I go back to the escapes that make me feel like garbage?
I look better! I’ve been doing my makeup most mornings (on the bus, but still, usually my bus ride is to zone the fuck out for 40 minutes while trying to accept the fact that I have another 8 hours of garbage ahead of me), dressing nicer, showering more often, just… FEELING A LITTLE MORE ON POINT. Which is probably a good chunk of why I’m more social at work, too. I don’t hate the idea of someone looking at me. LOL.