I cannot believe they let me use such long fucking titles.
My life is so boring when I’m talking about ~self-improvement~ instead of cute boys. Kinda jonesing for a crush right now, but alas, no one is attractive. LOL. I mean obviously there are lots of attractive people in this world, but no one I find attractive in my general vicinity. Other than Milquetoast and that whole thing is too awkward.
I honestly don’t feel any urge to bang it out with anyone, I just want that burst of energy that comes from light flirtation. AS I’VE DISCOVERED MULTIPLE TIMES RECENTLY, acting on long-standing flirtations just ruins them. But it’s not as fun if there’s not a POSSIBILITY of acting on it, I guess? So it’s nice to be open even if I don’t… feel like being open.
I HAVE A TERRIBLE CONFESSION TO MAKE.
Several weird things have happened lately that I know aren’t actually weird but they FEEL weird?
This isn’t all of them–there’s one I’m forgetting that was a major no-fucking-way moment BUT I WAS HIGH AND NOW I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS why yes tackling this weed addiction is next on the list of self-improvements ANYHOO.
There’s this book I’ve been trying to find for 15 to 20 years. I LOVED it as a kid, thought it was the funniest fucking thing I’d ever read, but no one else had ever heard of it and I couldn’t remember the name. Even after the internet came around, my google searches apparently weren’t good enough to pull it up.
One day my coworker was talking about how her son wants to be a private detective. And our new temp pops up and is like “There’s this book I think he’d like!”
IT WAS THE BOOK, Y’ALL. THE BOOOOOOOOOK. One of 3 books that sticks in my head from my childhood that I cannot fucking find. (I’ll describe the other two in a later entry in case it sparks y’all’s memories.)
She ALSO hadn’t heard of anyone else who’d read it! I was fucking pumped. Like probably too pumped, lol, it’s a book for 8-year-olds but honestly, HONESTLY it was one of the things that sparked my sense of humor and influenced my comedic style, even now.
(It’s this fucking book btw)
I ordered a copy for $5 since it wasn’t at the library and it’s sitting on my kitchen counter. I hope it turns out to be terrible, LOL. It’ll take me about 20 minutes to finish it.
If I can’t finish a book for 8-year-olds, I think I’m officially giving up on reading.
Was listening to a podcast. In the podcast, they set a monster on fire. I immediately started singing “Beast of Burden” but “beast a-burnin’” because I’m great and not at all terrible.
It was actually distracting enough that I couldn’t fucking focus on the podcast, so I turned on music. Spotify “discover weekly.” They collect tracks they think you’ll like based on the previous week’s listening habits.
The second song it played–not even a full 10 minutes after I had to shut off my podcast because the song was intrusively in my head–was a fucking shitty poppy cover of that song.
I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER LISTENED TO THAT SONG. NOT ONCE. NOT ON SPOTIFY, NOT ANYWHERE. I HAVE NEVER EVEN GOOGLED IT. IT’S NOWHERE NEAR MY STYLE. And yet Spotify was like “you’ll definitely be into this song.”
“What if your phone was spying on you and heard you singing it so they added it to the list?” GOOD PULL, and I’ve had creepy shit like that happen before with my phone. But this was a pre-generated playlist that will not change until the next week rolls around.
I was listening to ANOTHER podcast called Greater Boston (1000000% RECOMMEND IF YOU LIKE WELL-PRODUCED SEMI-SURREAL COMEDY AUDIO DRAMAS WITH LOTS OF HEART wow that’s a very specific subcategory of interests) and they were talkin’ ‘bout that molasses flood from back in the day.
I already knew about it but I Googled it again anyway and THE 100-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE FLOOD WAS THAT EXACT DAY.
And it’s not like the podcast came out that day and was pointing out the anniversary. The episode was over a year old.
This one was really nuts. I went outside on Sunday night. I don’t ever… look up at the sky? just don’t think of it. I believe I was checking to see if my neighbor was on his porch, since last time I passed him I think he talked to me but I had headphones on and didn’t respond.
ANYHOO I was like WHOA THE MOON LOOKS CRAZY WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON. And I look up so rarely, I was like “maybe this is just what the moon looks like…?” Hahaha. Like, IN THE RIGHT LIGHT or something, maybe it just looks like a strangely shaded ping pong ball that’s 100 feet away instead of a million light years YEAH I’M A SPACE SCIENTIST SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Within probably 5 seconds of me looking at it, to the left I see A MOTHERFUCKING SHOOTING STAR.
I NEVER SEE SHOOTING STARS. OH MY GOD. I HAVE BEEN LYING OUTSIDE LOOKING AT A CLEAR SKY DURING A METEOR SHOWER AND I WILL NOT SEE ANY FUCKING SHOOTING STARS BECAUSE MY EYES DON’T TRACK FOR SHIT BUT THIS WAS CLEAR AS DAY AND IT JUST STREAKED ACROSS THE SKY AS I’M LOOKING AT THIS WACKADOODLE MOON AND MY MIND IS ENTIRELY BLOWN.
Then I took a pic–it looks absolutely nothing like what I saw–and zoomed in on the pic and was like OH THERE’S THE STUPID FUCKING FACE LOL I’V NEVER SEEN THAT EITHER HOLY SHIT NO WONDER PEOPLE CREATED CONSPIRACY THEORIES AROUND THIS FUCKING THING IT’S SCARY AS SHIT.
Two hours later, my friend texts me saying there’s a lunar eclipse and it’s almost over. WELP, GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THE WACKADOODLE MOON LOL.
Okay. So yeah. None of it is… real. But it’s fucking weird. I’ve had probably 3 more of these coincidences happen in the last week. I didn’t even think about it till the moon thing and suddenly I was like, this is… a lot of things. In rapid succession.
SO YEAH OKAY I’M GETTING A LITTLE WOO-WOO IN MY HEAD AND I’M FIGHTING IT OFF but whatever it’s fun.
I also started pulling a daily tarot card again. I’ma pin them to my fridge calendar to remind me of them whenever I walk by UGH I’M SORRY FOR MY WHOLE PERSONALITY.
I am still a skeptic and I know this is confirmation bias at work, even though I wasn’t seeking confirmation at first. I re-contextualized these events with added importance because the moon thing was so cool and our pattern-seeking brains are desperate to find meaning in everything, which is also partially why we’re all a little racist.
IT’S CRAZY TALK AND I DON’T CARE COS IF I CAN’T HAVE A CRUSH TO EXCITE ME THEN MAYBE I’LL PRETEND SPIRITUALITY IS REAL FOR A WHILE INSTEAD.
Last updated January 22, 2019