What would you do? in Everything.

  • Jan. 8, 2019, 1:03 p.m.
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  • Public

Okay, so! I need your opinions on what you would do.

My birthday is on January 19th. It’s a Saturday. Obviously it’s nice when your birthday falls on a Saturday, right? No work. No obligations. Just a fun filled day of birthday celebrations.

But my sister in law decided to plan my niece’s college graduation party on this night. She knew it was my birthday but had to plan it on this day because it’s what worked for my niece’s boyfriend. I’ve never been this childish BUT IT’S MY BIRTHDAY WAHHH person but after so many years of disappointing birthdays.... I kind of want to be that person this year. I want to be selfish. I hate going to these type of get togethers anyway, I especially don’t want to spend my entire birthday night at one.

We usually do birthday dinners as a family but now everyone plans on going to the party.
And now Andy wants to spend my birthday with me… which means so much to me after a really shitty birthday last year… and I’d really like spending the day with him.

So here’s my current issues.
I suggested dinner on Friday. At first I thought the problem with that would be that my sister and nephew work late and wouldn’t be able to come but I found out they are both off early because they planned on going to Bingo. My sister has been begging me to go to Bingo with her FOREVER now and I never go (Bingo is so not my thing…) so I know she’s been wanting to go. Apparently it’s a giant pot and her, my nephew, brother and sister in law are going. She said she could not go and go to dinner but I know she’s been jonesin’ for some Bingo I guess.

She wants to go on Saturday, before my niece’s party. No one else will go because they all plan on eating at the party.

My Mom says to go out on Sunday....... which would be okay but then my two nephews couldn’t go. And my mom keeps talking about this stupid Italian place because it’s like 5 blocks away from my sister’s. I don’t want Italian. My mom hates traveling. She’ll throw a fit if it’s a place like 30 minutes away.

THEN I don’t know what to do about the party. I don’t want to go but I feel obligated to go. (Because you all know me and my feeling guilty). I debated just stopping in for a minute to say hi, give gift, give hugs and leave but is that rude? And I don’t know what to do about Andy. He’ll be here. I can’t expect him to come in with me. That’s too much, isn’t it? That will be like ALL THE FAMILY (He’s already met 5 of them though…). Can I just not go? I don’t know if I can do that. I’m WORKING ON saying no more in 2019 but that’s a big no for me. Hahaha.

I don’t know why this is so hard. I don’t know why it’s always something on my birthday. It never ever ever goes the way I want it to go and I feel like a 5 year old getting upset about it but god. I just try to make everyone happy so much that I kind of just want ONE DAY OUT OF THE YEAR that it’s about me. Lol.

So I’m thinking that MAYBE I’ll do whatever for dinner on Friday and meet my sister and nephews out for a drink after their stupid ass Bingo. I spend Saturday with Andy. Family can all go to the party on Saturday and I still don’t know if I should go or not. Then dinner on Sunday with most of the fam.

I guess the dinner problem is solved but now… what do I do about the party?

juliuslargo January 08, 2019

pick up a six pack, go to bingo, because you might win. pick up another six pack. go to the graduation party for 15 minutes after you've had a six pack. then go do your thing. use Sunday to recover, or sunday fun day.

gravity January 08, 2019

A graduation is a pretty big deal - I'd say at least make an appearance at the party, maybe leave a little early and do your own birthday celebration.

BeautifulMess_ January 08, 2019

I agree with all above, you can make an appearance at the party but don't stay long. Everyone should understand it's your birthday and you may have other plans.

SilentEcho January 08, 2019

Make an appearance or meet up with her before hand another day prior to the party. IT IS YOUR DAY and it is shitty that it was planned around a boyfriends availability!

balancedmom 7 days ago

Go to bingo and win some money. (I won last night) =). Tell your niece congratulations, but go spend your birthday with Andy. She'll understand. It's your birthday! Eat something you want for your birthday. It's your birthday!
I get it. I'm a people pleaser, but am learning that treating yourself right is important. If we let people walk all over us, they will continue until we finally say hell no!

Empire of Lights balancedmom ⋅ 7 days ago

Thank you! Yes, you're definitely right. We definitely do need to treat ourselves right and putting us first sometimes :) Congrats on the bingo win!

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