I wrote another entry but put it on private because most of it was just venting about BFF. I thought she got mad at me for the whole not hanging out thing (which I do still really think she was/is). In that entry I didn’t tell her I met Andy yet but I since have. I wrote her a long rambling message and didn’t get any response to that but we’ve talked on snap since then so I don’t THINK she’s mad anymore.
But I don’t know. Things are so weird between us. (Me and BFF, not me and Andy).
We snap each other. We chat a little bit. But I feel like it’s just weird. Like I still get the vibe that she’s annoyed. But we have plans this weekend so let’s see how that works out.
The other night… she snaps me a picture of her makeup. It’s very very dark and bold brows and eyes and red lipstick. She has a wig on and heels. That usually means sex for her because she always gets dolled up in wigs and stuff. But she was like, “Playing with makeup!” and I said, “Oh fun!” and she said, “We will see about that ;)” and then like an hour later she snaps me another picture of her face and the lipstick is a mess, wig is gone and said captioned it “Well the eye makeup survived but not the wig or lipstick”
............. like did you literally just send me a picture of your messed up post sex makeup? Who does that? Who goes on snapchat minutes after sex and is like ‘HEY I JUST HAD SEX LOOK AT MY MAKEUP’.
It was the weirdest snap ever from her.
Anyway. Let’s get into some Andy talk because this place has really been lacking more Andy talk.
Ugggggggggh, he’s so great.
I read so many things and you guys have told me so many times that ‘HEY. WHEN A GUY IS INTERESTED IN YOU, YOU WILL KNOW. HE WILL MAKE YOU A PRIORITY. HE WILL WANT TO TEXT YOU. HE WILL WANT TO SEE YOU. HE WILL WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU’ and there’s no question in my mind about this boy. He texts me all the time. We see each other a lot. He spent the night a few times. He’s very open about what’s on his mind. He met some family when they came over my house once. Things are really good with us. I don’t think I’ve ever been this comfortable with a guy before. It just feels so natural to be with him. We make each other laugh. We’ve cooked dinners together. We’re spending my birthday together. He told me last night, “Think of what you want to do. Anything. And I’m there” regarding my birthday and I just loved that. Last year I had to beg and STILL got shitty results.
He’s a good guy. But I’m trying to be careful and smart about it. It’s very fast and it’s a lot. After reading advice pages on dating for the past year.... love bombing is a thing and sometimes I don’t trust myself enough to make good decisions when it comes to dating. (Uh, hey Shawn. Oh and Jeremy too. We could even throw Timmy in there too maybe). He asked me how soon is too soon to ask me to be his girlfriend. I told him it’s just too soon now. I told him I’m not going anywhere, I’m not looking for anyone else but we should just enjoy each other now before we get too serious about it. Let it happen naturally and don’t force it for a label. He happily accepted that and apologized if he was being too much. He said he’s never been so excited about a person before.
He worries that his “eagerness” is going to scare me off. I worry that my “standoffish-ness” will scare him off. But I think we’re on the same page for the most part. Communication between us is pretty great.
Anyway. I am going to apply to a few jobs then work on some stuff around the office. My hours got cut big time for the winter (like always) so it’ll be nice to get some house projects done but I really just want to FIND A NEW JOB.