OH HI GUYS.
I ordered lunch from Specialty’s. It was 15 goddamn dollars and I regret nothing. HOLY SHIT THIS POPPY SEED BREAD IS TOO GOOD TO EXIST. I need to learn how to make potato poppy seed bread. I NEED TO.
I haven’t made bread in like 5 years. OR MORE. Other than rolls. I guess that’s… just literally and exclusively bread.
WHATEVER, i haven’t made a LOAF of bread in one hundred million years.
So my coworker has a 10-year-old son. And she raves about him because, you know, he’s… her son. But she talks about him like he’s fuckin’ Buddha. THE MOST CHILL AND SWEET AND SELF-AWARE CHILD WHO HAS EVER LIVED. And we were all excited to meet this CLEARLY WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS kid of hers.
So I finally met him a couple weeks ago and he’s… a 10-year-old. Lol. He spent practically the entire night playing Fortnite(probably?) on his phone, didn’t really interact with people until he had to to play a game, and like… My coworker had told us all he was SOOOOO EXCITED when he found out LP was in the original IT movie, but he clearly gave no shits, and when I was like “oh hey did you want a picture with him,” he was… ALMOST a dick about it?
Like. He wasn’t a total asshole. He was just… a 10-year-old. Particularly, a 10-year-old who hasn’t been taught the standard politesse involved in human interaction. Same as most 10-year-olds.
I could make this a generational thing–KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR NO MANNERS AND THEIR PARTICIPATION TROPHIES–but honestly, kids were likely always this way. I was raised very strictly, and I distinctly remember being appalled that my peers were so openly rude to adults. And this is STILL the case with most 10-year-olds, and honestly I just don’t like most kids.
I JUST DON’T LIKE MOST KIDS.
Unless they were parented to be polite as fuck, which most of them aren’t, and THAT’S FAIR ENOUGH. It takes a fuckton of time and effort to watch and critique a child’s every move. It involves a lot of just… LEAVING. Leaving stores and restaurants and parks and dinner parties whenever your kid starts being an asshole, until eventually they realize they don’t get to do anything fun unless they learn how to not be dicks. Which means a lot of Not Being Able To Go Places, probably for a couple years at least. If your household doesn’t have a stay-at-home parent willing to give up everything and dedicate their entire existence to grooming your kids simply so they aren’t moderately annoying to other people, IT’S PROBABLY NOT POSSIBLE.
It’s not the parents’ fault, or the kids’ fault. It’s all me, baby. Most people seem to have a much higher tolerance for the general assholery of children and they can see the potentially cool adult within them. I JUST DON’T HAVE THAT SKILL.
Besides, what the fuck is politesse anyway? Lying. LYING, is what it fucking is. Pretending you’re happy when you’re not. Eating food you don’t like. Agreeing with things you don’t agree with. IT’S ALL A FUCKING LIE. The fact that we preach honesty to our kids while simultaneously training them how to properly lie to literally everyone they meet probably causes some fucked up cognitive dissonance that follows us through to our adulthood and is maybe why most of us aren’t very good people?
If I’m gonna lie and say I love grandma’s apple pie even though it’s stale and full of her wig hair, because WHAT GRANDMA DOESN’T KNOW CAN’T HURT HER, then why the fuck wouldn’t I also lie about banging the neighbor’s husband? WHAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW WON’T HURT HER, RIGHT?
Yes, a truly “good” person wouldn’t bang the neighbor’s husband, but POBODY’S NERFECT, and I’m ranting about how we handle it when we DO fuck up.
We claim one category of lies are okay because they’re “selfless.” We’re doing it for other people! To save them from pain! That’s what separates white lies from the… black… ones? LOL, that can’t possibly be the appropriate dichotomy.
And really there is no dichotomy, because our “white” lies exist to avoid our own discomfort. It’s true that we may lie because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but the key word there is “want.” We WANT to lie because we don’t WANT to feel bad about making THEM feel bad.
Hurting people makes us feel like shit. If it didn’t, we’d be sociopaths! Whenever you’re doing something for someone else, you’re ACTUALLY doing it for yourself, and if lying to not make someone feel bad is already something you’ve been taught is okay, then WHY NOT LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT WOULD MAKE SOMEONE FEEL BAD. Like banging the neighbor’s husband.
… Okay, this took a really fucking weird turn. Hahaha.
I don’t… really know if I even believe what I’m saying.
Not all politesse is lying. Interacting with people instead of ignoring them is… a helpful skill to have? If you ignore everyone, you’ll never have friends or any kind of a support network in your life, and sometimes you have to do shit you don’t want to do so you can have a pleasant future. Everything we do may be inherently selfish, but we NEED to be good to other people if we want them to be good to us. Social contracts are necessary for society to function. And you can’t form social contracts with anyone if you’re too busy fucking around on your phone to make eye contact with them.
Aaaaaand not screaming in public places is also not lying, it’s just NOT RUINING OTHER PEOPLE’S DAYS.
But, you know. Some of the shit we teach kids IS lying. And that’s kind of insane to me.
WHATEVER WHO CARES HOW THE FUCK DID I FALL DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE. I was gonna talk about the kids I used to live with, but now I’ve gone on too long about THE PHILOSOPHY OF POLITESSE, so instead I’ll just kill myself.
Or write about it tomorrow.
“Video of one of your favorite memories” man I am very bad at ranking memories, or even coming up with them. But I’ll figure something out.
Last updated January 04, 2019