A New Year and a New Set of Empty Promises in My Thoughts

  • Jan. 2, 2019, 9:06 a.m.
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I am making a resolution to write about my life, feelings and thoughts. I hope that I am more successful than I have been in previous attmepts to write on a regular basis.

The year is off to a banner start. The new job is going well over all though I still feel like a fish out of water at times. I am starting to get my feet on solid ground and feel like I have the ability to speak my mind and express my ideas. It is hard coming into an industry with no knowledge of that area and feeling like you have something to contribute.

Weight loss is going for shit. I keep back sliding and eating shit I know I should not. I am holding steady at the moment but will not even come close to meeting my goal of 250 before the meeting. Maybe by Easter. At least this time around everytime I fall off I brush myself off and get back on. 16 pounds by April will make me very happy.

Home life sucks right now. All my wife and daugher do is fight. It reminds me of the relationship between my wife and her mother, and I don’t want my family to end up the same way. I love my mother and though at time we did not see eye to eye the love was always there. I don’t feel it with them and I have no idea how to go about mending it. I have often thought (of late) what life would be like if we split up. Would it be better for the kids? I don’t know.

Money is still a huge sticking point. I am really going to focus this year on paying down debt and getting my personal spending under control. My student loan is like a giant rock hanging over my head and I don’t see anyway out from under it aside from death. The payment is not even in the realm of affordability. I will just keep putting it off until I can get some of the smaller ones paid off. I have thought about a debt consolidation loan but I don’t think anyone would give me one.

Back to work.

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