i'm on my own two feet, but i'm not standing upright in Public

  • Dec. 26, 2018, 1:35 p.m.
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  • Public

One great thing about being apathetic towards Christmas is that there’s no post-Christmas depression.

No matter how sweet my Xmas was as a kid, I always felt melancholy on Christmas night. All that buildup and excitement, and now I’ve opened all the boxes and I know how it all went, and I didn’t like the feeling of… knowing?

Humans are so obsessed with unopened boxes. That’s basically all we give a shit about. Looking for the next sealed box, the next locked door.

IT’S THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION!!!!!!! Christ. I’m full of nothing but original thoughts.

But really, it… is. About the journey. But not in a good way? It’s an infinite cycle. We obsess over solving a puzzle/opening a box/unlocking a door, because OMG IT COULD BE ANYTHING. WHAT WILL IT BE? And then as soon as we know, we have a brief moment of satisfaction followed by an immediate desire to fill the void with another unanswered question. And every time, we convince ourselves the answer will give us more fulfillment than it ever does.

And we HAVE to feel that way. That’s the driving force behind all of our fuckin’ puzzle-solving to begin with. That’s what caused humans to become the dominant(ly shitty) species. The desire to find creative solutions is the foundation for all of our progress. We’re driven by the self-deception that we want answers, when really we only want questions. But we only want the questions because we THINK we want answers, which, we fucking don’t. We’re constantly chasing a high that doesn’t exist. Round and round in circles looking for a sense of contentment that never comes, and then we DIE.

… So that’s the kind of mood I’m in lately, and probably why I shouldn’t be writing. Lol. I came here to talk about Pikachus and shit, but here we are.


Last updated December 26, 2018

Honestleigh December 26, 2018

Omg. I can't. You just clarified why the fuck I'm so in my brain right now.

summertime sadness. December 26, 2018

Pikachus in santa hats will save Christmas.

Jigger December 26, 2018

I absolutely agree with you on the human nature thing, but the first present I opened this year was an opium pipe with an eighteen-inch cloisonné stem, and honestly, I didn’t feel like I needed to open another thing. It was a really weird feeling, sitting by a tree on Christmas morning, and feeling like this one amazing thing was enough. That’s never happened to me before. ...So far, all I’ve used it for was to blow in my cat Lead’s ear from eighteen inches away. He totally had it coming, I promise. He’s a pill.

One Angry Dwarf Jigger ⋅ December 27, 2018

AN OPIUM PIPE. Are you gonna... do opium in it?! IS THIS A THING PEOPLE DO CASUALLY NOW? I am so behind the times.

That's rad though. Maybe that's what I need: THE PERFECT GIFT.

I should definitely start obsessing over material things until I find the perfect object that makes me happy on Christmas because it worked for someone else. THIS IS A VERY GOOD PLAN.

Jigger One Angry Dwarf ⋅ December 27, 2018


I am considering doing Bubble Blow in it. That’s probably disrespectful of its hopefully colorfully storied history, but it’s already got a slight warp, so what the hell.

Oh, hell, I was raised by archaeologists; I could never. It’ll wind up on a stand above my grandmother’s opium table. But I love it.

Serilen December 26, 2018

You've basically described why I'm a scientist. Except that we get the added satisfaction of understanding that in our chosen career we will never fully know what's in the box. We can uncover bits of it and occasionally we rip it open with some great insight, but there's always another box inside that needs more study.

Ok so that description makes me feel a bit anxious but I swear it's fun!

One Angry Dwarf Serilen ⋅ December 27, 2018

Oh for sure, I totally believe that! I think that's why science is a thing, really. And I bet if humans ever reached a point where they've literally solved every mystery and comprehended every science, we would just... die. LOL. Just like. Not even bother to exist anymore.

I wish I was good at science. But I'm very very bad at it, so instead I read about philosophy. Which is the pits because with that shit you never find ANY answers, but it's better than nothing.

Yours For Now... December 27, 2018

Dude I can’t stop planning trips 6+ months out for this reason. To have something to look forward to. It’s kind of exhausting in a weird way.

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