Big Brother called me at 6:30 last night to ask me how to “send an email so no one can see who it was sent to.” Known to all other adult humans as “BCC” and literally how do you not know how to do it, LOL.
I’m not actually judging him. Remember yesterday when he read an entire fucking governor’s budget and cranked out a summary relevant to our interests in 6 hours? And all he needed help with is how to send it so a bunch of assholes don’t hit reply all saying “thanks bro”?
Anyway his timing was One Hundred Emoji because I was ABOUT to get stoned. If he’d called 5 minutes later, I would have just rambled about the history of carbon copies until I forgot the original question.
Then I got stoned and watched The Lobster.
I… did not need that movie in my life. It’s not… a bad movie… It’s just. It’s using this strange, inexplicable world to make a philosophical point about human nature. But the strangeness of the world/extreme flatness of the performances are so forward that they were distracting, and I couldn’t stay focused on what they were trying to say.
At first, it all kinda made sense. they’re flat and cold because their world is flat and cold, and love is obligatory and empty. But then as the plot progressed, character traits and motivations ceased to have any bearing on real-life emotions. It stopped reflecting something real, and started to feel weird for weirdness’s sake.
It was still a decent watch. It was dark. I wasn’t ~traumatized~ by it in any way, but I can almost guarantee it’s the reason I had so many nightmares last night, since the nightmares had a similar tone to the movie.
One of which was only about 10 seconds long–I suddenly remembered I was supposed to take care of my brother’s cats. I found them dead in their litter box, already decomposing. In that 10 seconds I rapidly went through emotional stages.
Maybe they’re okay? … Obviously not.
Can I possibly replace them? No, this isn’t a sitcom, people know their own cats.
They died alone and hungry.
I killed them with my negligence.
And then it ended with the thought “this is the worst thing I’ve ever done” screaming in my mind over and over.
I abruptly woke up (thank god) and GASPED like I was yanked out of the water on the verge of drowning. Two seconds later I processed that this horrible thing didn’t actually happen, and the relief was almost as intense as the horror.
Then I texted Carolyn about it to get it out of my head, fell back asleep and had two more nightmares. (AND THE CAT ONE WASN’T EVEN THE FIRST NIGHTMARE OF THE EVENING.)
So maybe no more movies about… whatever the fuck The Lobster was about.
Maybe I’ll catch up on DePhoMo over the weekend. The WONDERFULLY EMPTY WEEKEND.
Milquetoast just said he has the entirety of Jagged Little Pill stuck in is head and now it’s in mine too. This is the worst thing he’s ever done to me. thank God he looks super attractive today or I’d otherwise unsubscribe from his friendship.
Maybe it’ll help to listen to it.
Nope, this is not helping. Oh well. YOU LIVE, YOU LEARN, AM I RIGHT? THAT’S AN ALANIS LYRIC. HA HA, COOL. BYE.
Oh one more thing: turns out asking people for “philosophical ideas” to drunkenly try to explain just causes everyone to try to prove how smart they are by pulling out obscure philosophical terminology. Which, why DIDN’T I predict this? IT IS LITERALLY WHY I HATE PHILOSOPHY. Or, why I hate the people who… talk about it. Haha.
I think it’ll actually make it more fun, to take these inexplicable jargon phrases and drunkenly dumb them down (while missing important points in the process). Nothing more fun than spreading misinformation for entertainment purposes, right?!? I AM THE HUFFPO OF ALCOHOLICS.
K BYE FOR REAL.
Last updated December 14, 2018