I remember a few years ago… work would be so insane and I’d want nothing more than just to go home and be ALONE. I longed for the silent nights at home doing nothing. I was happy. I was in my lonely bubble and I liked it.
But now I hate it.
Work is 100% opposite. I went from getting 100+ calls in two hours to maybe getting 10 phone calls a day. (Okay. I just counted. It’s been 18 today with a few hours left but seriously. That feels like nothing). I used to work with someone else in this office for at least 30 hours a week. Boss lady would come in for another 15-20 hours. I’d see boss man at least once a day. I’ve have a handful of customers that I’d see.
Now… I see no one. I work alone. Boss lady never comes in. Boss man comes maybe 2 times a week, if that, and its usually for 5 minutes or less.
I feel so isolated.
I’ve been in this funk lately about Timmy. I just wish… he was… more … enthusiastic? chatty? needy? SOMETHING. More something. He’s just so lazy and bleh....lately he’s just been “I’m just so sleepy” that we rarely talk. And I GET IT. I know life is busy and when you’re newly dating someone you shouldn’t expect all their time. I’m not asking for all of it. I’m asking for a TINY piece of it. And he apologizes for “sucking” but even that is so awkward and dumb. I’m sick of the one worded responses that I just stop trying to talk to him.
I think I would handle this so much better if I worked a normal job and wasn’t alone SO MUCH. I just crave some other human interactions and right now, he’s who I want it from. And I think I’m just going to be open and honest about it and tell him this. Ever since I’ve started dating all I worry about it being “too much”.... I tried hard not to be too clingy or needy so much that I’m suffering myself. Because I WANT to be clingy right now. I’m dying for some form of attention and I want it to be from him. I like being around him. He makes me happier.
In other news:
Weekend was good. I actually had a really good time on Saturday. No one dressed up like they said they would so I didn’t either. BFF had a wig and mermaid makeup on so I still wore my halo and a white shirt for an “angel” look but eh. That was it.
Annnnnnnnd those on FB/Insta/SC already saw but
That was the look. The normal look hahaha.
Yeaaaaaaaaaah. They’re all snapchat pics because I sometimes forget I have an actual camera and only use snapchat.
My dumb nephews (and their friend). Um. This was the last stop of the night. A bar near my house… that has swings for seats. Awesome idea, right? Swings + drunk people sounds like it would work out just fine, right? Yeah. I totally fell.
I ALWAYS FALL WHEN I’M DRUNK. And oh boy, was I drunk.
And we went home to my house. BFF and I continued drinking. She’s an emotional drunk though so the night turned into her crying for a few hours over her guy’s mom. At that point, the drinks stopped. Haha.
I don’t really have anything else.
I’m going to go home and bury myself in projects to keep busy. I have a dresser that needs done. Has been needing that for like a year now so good time to start!
Actually. I just realized today. There’s this stupid game I play and it’s a slot machine game. I don’t play it often but I’ve had it for YEARS. Apparently there’s these rewards you can earn and I’ve been earning them. I just looked into it and apparently there’s like 2 night stay at the MGM Grand in Vegas for 200,000 points. Two nights at Luxor for 55,000 points. 1 night at Bellagio for 100,000.
I have almost 600,000 points.............
so I could actually get this? Has anyone ever used anything like this? I mean. There’s other places. There’s a 7 day cruise for 2 for 600,000.
I think I’d be so nervous actually trying to use this and making sure IT’S LEGIT.
Okay. I just looked it up briefly and some people said they legit worked. They got a free cruise. They had to pay some fee’s. (port fee and travel to/from to get to the cruise of course which I assumed already. And if you wanted to upgrade rooms). A lot of others are saying the Vegas stuff works too. It’s not a scam.
I wouldn’t do a cruise. Honestly I feel like a short trip to Vegas would be fun. Maybe a fun birthday trip. I wanted to go up to a spa in GB for my birthday but that’ll end up costing me over $1,200.... when I could go to Vegas for a few nights and get my room and some dinners free? There’s discounts on shows and stuff too. Hmmm. Something to look into it. I’m kinda excited about it. NOW I JUST NEED ME A BOO TO GO WITH.
Oh and other happy news - I got some payroll! Not all of it. But some. Enough to pay my internet, loan and you know........ MORTGAGE THAT WAS DUE A MONTH AGO AND IS NOW DUE AGAIN. Sigh. But at least it’s getting paid. I’m supposed to hear about the other job - if I made it to the second interview stage later this week. I really really hope so!
Last updated October 30, 2018