8:53 in spectrality

  • Sept. 24, 2018, 3:02 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

too much going on, always too much going on.

i paid off my student loans last month. i keep waiting for that ‘feeling’ to hit me, the one where i suddenly feel all free and unbeholden, but it’s a sloooooow realization that only subtly creeps up over time.

i learned today that a friend from high school, zach shrock, died yesterday of heart failure. really smart guy, very introverted and quiet but Good– a good person. he had just turned 30 in april like me! i can’t say we were close but you know, we went through the same hellish IB program together, there was a certain understanding that carried with it. we took compsci together. i remember his SAT score (2250) because i remember feeling astounded that mine was higher (2280) knowing that he was so smart. stuff like that. hope his family can be at peace.

on a whim, i signed up for classes through community college. i know.. i know… i only JUST paid off my student loans last month. i haven’t even built my emergency fund back up yet! but it wasn’t so bad, $800 for tuition and i can squeak by paying just $140 for the online labs while downloading the etexts for free. i’m taking introductory programming, microeconomics, and macroeconomics. programming because computer science, economics because finance. i don’t know what i’m doing. I JUST LOVE SCHOOL OK. and i miss it. i blazed through the first 3 weeks of programming homework/labs today. if i wanted, i could finish the entire course early!

i was gonna write a lot more but my stomach hurts all of a sudden and i’m gonna go lay down with a heating pad.

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