8/9 in daily.

  • Aug. 9, 2018, 4:23 p.m.
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(Regarding bus-taking, mural-visiting, swimsuit-buying, lack-of-curves body image problems, guilt about money-spending, learning new things, and becoming more hopeful).

Taking the bus seemed much more simple today, although it was a shame that today’s bus driver made me pay $2.50 for the day pass instead of the student discount price of $1.25. I didn’t argue, simply because I don’t have a student ID yet, so I thought it would seem disingenuous to say that I was a student without proof.

Transferring is very easy, besides the long wait times for some of the local buses. I missed one of my buses the first time and had to wait another half hour because I was on the wrong darn side of the road, I’m so dumb. But otherwise it was very straightforward.

Besides getting my picture taken at the mural, I didn’t actually do much, since I went out late. The bus rides, and waiting, took a lot of time all together, although I did take a peek at the water and the trail and statue/garden museum. OH, and I also was lucky at the mural and met a car of three really nice girls who I basically exchanged pictures with! I’m so glad that at both murals I met wonderful people who were willing to take my picture!!

Anyway, I also got to take the bus to get cucumbers for the redness on my chest, which is still obvious, although it’s good that it doesn’t seem to be badly burnt, because the skin isn’t itching or peeling. I also used my debit card for the first time since I got it, to buy the $0.76 cucumbers. Lmao. I took the bus again, transferring once, and got to H&M and Forever 21 again, where I spent a long time looking at the swimwear. Forever 21 had some cheap ones, but the one-pieces had really ugly prints, and the two-pieces were sold separately, so there were tops without matching bottoms, bottoms without matching tops, matching tops and bottoms that didn’t have suitable sizes, and so on. I tried on a polka-dot two-piece with a medium top and a large bottom; the top was actually fine (a tad too triangular for me), but the bottom revealed too much of… my bottom. So I went to H&M and tried on a white two-piece, which had some padding in the top but was still a tad bit too big and empty even though it was already really small (tiny boob problems). Then I tried on a black, technically one-piece suit, that was basically a two piece but connected by the stomach and had ties at the back to fit, and almost ruffly straps. It wasn’t on sale, so it was still $15, but after a long time agonizing and debating, I still decided to buy it, so the total came to $16.23– I guess I should have waited until the tax-free weekend, but…

I feel both happy and guilty for buying the suit, so I want to ask my mom’s opinion on it tomorrow. It’s the most expensive thing I’ve bought in a long time. If I hadn’t bought it, I would’ve spent only ~$37 during my almost two weeks here, but buying it means I spent ~$53, and that just seems like so much when it’s written out. Of course, I could always return it within 30 days, as long as I keep the receipt– and, who are we kidding, of course I keep receipts. This suit would be the spiciest and most revealing thing I’ve ever worn outside if I decide to keep it and wear it to go swimming, so there’s that. I do know that I don’t really enjoy how full one-pieces look on me, being really skinny and curveless and all, and I also don’t enjoy completely skimpy two-pieces because it feels weird to expose so much of the body I don’t like that much, so maybe this suit is actually a good compromise.

Tomorrow I’m going out with my friend!! We sort of know that we’re going to a candy shop, but other than that, we’re not sure. The candy shop is on the same tourist street that the other mural is on though, so there’s some stuff to see, too. It’s also not far, either driving or taking the bus, from a botanical garden, natural springs pool, and metropolitan park, and the other part of Downtown, so… I think it should be a fulfilling day.

Tonight I’ll hope that the cucumbers soothe the redness of my skin :) And I’ll also try to scope out where I’ll go both tomorrow, and the other days left of my stay here, which I can’t believe has actually gone by really quickly. College classes start in just eleven days, and move-in is just a week away. I’m actually starting to feel… excited? because walking near the university here makes me think of college life in a new sort of light. I am still a little sad I didn’t get to go to this uni, but at the same time, I think it’s good that I’m going somewhere new again and further growing up.

The past few days have made me very happy and hopeful :) I’ve learned and seen a lot, just walking around and taking public transport on my own.


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