MIGHT AS WELL GIVE A KETO UPDATE. in FOOD SHIT

  • July 26, 2018, 2:08 p.m.
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  • Public

THIS IS ABOUT DIET STUFF. HA HA OBVIOUSLY.

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K so the first couple weeks I had beer twice, regained 4 pounds.

Got back down to where I was.

Third week I had a milk shake, gained 4 pounds.

Two days after that I said “fuck it” and went full eat-what-I-want (only for the evening, but I was stoned so it was a lot of food haha), gained another couple pounds.

Honestly this shit is not sustainable in the least, if cheating once or twice means literally all the weight comes back.

But I honestly don’t even hate it as a diet so I’ll probably keep doing it?

Just. I’m not gonna sit around counting macros because I’ll drive myself insane AND feel terrible about myself every time I go over calories.

I’ve accepted, I think, that I burn more calories than average and most weight loss apps are gonna tell me I have to be starving all day errday to lose half a pound a week. HALF A POUND. I intentionally set it to Easy Mode because if I were to set it to Regular Mode, I would probably ACTUALLY kill a man.

I will never be the kind of person who can just… be hungry all the time. I may be learning to exercise will power and self-discipline, but hunger is an incredibly powerful driver of my actions and unless my body were to reach a point where I’m alarmingly unhappy with myself at all times, the desire to NOT FEEL HUNGER will always outweigh the desire to look the way I want.

“But you can’t possibly have a calorie-in-calorie-out equation work unless you’re hungry all the time! Hunger means you’re burning fuel AKA fat already in your body!” THAT’S FAIR. BUT I WON’T DO IT.

I wasn’t overly hungry at all after the first 3 days of keto, and I think the appetite suppressant aspect of it is legit. Also even after breaking hardcore for a delicious milk shake (and a couple days later, a fucking burger AND ANOTHER MILK SHAKE), I don’t find myself being like “WELL FUCK IT THEN, CHOCOLATE FOREVER. Because I actually LIKE keto foods, and I like cooking, and I honestly don’t crave sweet stuff very often anyway. (Fucking SHOCKING considering I lived for it until the last year or two.)

Basically, a lazy AF version of keto with short bursts of strict keto might be LEGIT sustainable for me.

WE’LL SEE. I’m in the early stages, y’all. Who knows how I’ll feel in a month, three months, a year. But I’m gonna do it this way for a while and see.


TIME FOR TMI

That said, I’m like. Pretty sure breaking keto with a milk shake gave me a yeast infection. LOL. The timing is right. I haven’t had a yeast infection actually turn REAL for like 3 years or some shit. (I’ll just be like, vaguely itchy for half a day and it’ll go away.)

This one got super annoying yesterday and still hasn’t fully fucked off. This HAS to be related to my diet somehow… Okay fine it doesn’t have to be. It’s just, that’s the only thing I’ve changed recently, so it’s likely?

I will keep an eye on it. If every time I break keto, my crotch falls apart 2 days later, I am NOT gonna live my life this way. Haha.


K I have a fuckton of work to do BY THE BY I CAN ALMOST GUARANTEE MY BOSS GOT IN TROUBLE FOR TREATING ME LIKE SHIT DUE TO GIRLCRUSH’S EXIT SURVEY, BECAUSE SHE’S BEEN NICE TO ME, GIVEN ME TWO COMPLIMENTS (WHICH IS TWO MORE THAN SHE HAS EVER GIVEN ME IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF), AND IS GIVING ME MORE RESPONSIBILITY.

The fact that it took me this long to be sure it’s fake means she’s a great fucking actress, so I guess there’s that. But, the timing is too spot on. There is no way any of this is real.

I’m fine with it for now.

It is funny, even suspecting it was a lie the whole time, it still LEGIT helped motivate me to do a better job. The power of positive reinforcement, y’all. It’s a trip.


Last updated July 26, 2018


Firebabe July 26, 2018

Frankly, if someone's telling you that the only way a diet is working is if you're hungry ALL THE TIME, I'd back away real fast. And possibly throw a Molotov cocktail over your shoulder at them, just for good measure. Putting your body into starvation mode is a good way to actually prevent yourself from losing weight, because your metabolism slows waaaaay the fuck down. Also, not sustainable. At least not if you want to live like a normal person and not like Tyra Banks with a 'roid problem.

sarahbaby. July 26, 2018

Keto is so weird. How is your skin through the diet? What about your brain clarity/energy?

girl in recession July 28, 2018

I've been doing loose keto for a while now because I can't stand tracking. It drives me batty. Now I just try to make good decisions. I'm listening to y'alls podcast right now. It's amazing. I did have to download it because the stream kept stopping and starting over.

I went low carb years ago when I was getting yeast infections and it cured it! So I wouldn't be surprised if lots of carbs caused a yeasty situation.

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