I quit my job, it was a good job, of 15 years. I took a deep breath and chose to start down a new path. 50 years old and a father of two school-aged children and I started a new job. Not sure if that says good or bad things about me. Every day so far I have woken up and wondered if I made the biggest mistake of my life. I have doubts that I cannot even begin to explain. Fear of letting down family and friends, fear of finding out I really can’t cut it in a more difficult job just touch the tip of doubt that is plaguing me.
A little background before I get started. I normally have never stayed at a job for more than around 5-7 years. I always did well and moved up the ladder to the point when I would start to panic and then look for a new job. This is not the first time I left a good job to start something new. My job before this last one was an Executive Assistant Manager for Walgreens. That is basically a holding position while you wait for a store to open or a manager to get fired. LOL Twice I was offered my own stores in two different states (one I would not have minded moving to) and I turned them both down saying I did not want to leave the area. The fact of the matter is that I did not think I could handle it. I was scared. I turned down a 6 figure job to go and teach because I was so filled with self-doubt. Mistake? We will never know, that is in the past.
Fifteen years ago my daughter was born and I took a job teaching. Not an easy job by any stretch but I could handle it. For the first time though I took a job where there was no ladder to climb. There was no place to go, no goal to achieve. If I could do it one year I could do it forever. I am a good teacher and I did well. I spent 15 years there and never had to worry. I settled in, worked hard and did a good job, I was successful but I was not where many people told me I should be. Both my wife and my best friend felt I was falling short of my full abilities. I loved teaching, the kids and the material brought me joy but the people, the institution was driving me to the edge. So when the new job came up I took it. Mistake? We will never know, that is also in the past now.
So that brings me to today. In a job where I am can excel and with skill and knowledge progress up a ladder of sorts. I fell like the classic image of a duck. All calm above the water and kicking like hell under the water. So far I like the job. It offers challenges that I did not face in the past and an opportunity to learn and think outside my norm. IT Manager – if only it was that simple. there are dozens of facets to this job and I don’t think, even a month in, that I have begun to see them all. Often I feel lost, especially with dealing with people outside the Sanford office. I have that newcomer syndrome I guess. In my head, I can picture them sitting around the “water cooler” asking each other why the hell I was hired and what the hell was people thinking.
Last updated July 26, 2018