I know what you'll say. "This won't last longer than the rest of the day" in FOOD SHIT

  • July 7, 2018, 3:42 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

CW - diet stuff, progress pics


YEAH I’M QUOTING JOHN MAYER IN MY TITLE, WHAT OF IT.

I’ve actually had a couple John Mayer lyrics floating through my head lately. “HEAVIER THINGS” HOLDS UP PRETTY WELL. I’M SORRY, OKAY. IT’S A DECENT ALBUM. And I think it came out when he was around the age I am right now, so maybe that’s why some of the words are popping up.

… That was about John Mayer and not about my body???!?!?

I finally got around to taking pics–and since it’s only been a week, I figured they’d be “before-ish” pics–And dug up my old “progress” pics from last year. Didn’t realize they were from almost exactly the same time last year, but they are!

Even as I uploaded my new pics and looked at the old ones, I was like yeah it’s pretty much the same. Until I opened them on my laptop and HOLY HELL. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

Now, these “before” pics ARE a year old, but like. There’s just no way I didn’t look almost exactly like this a week ago. I felt worse about my belly than I ever have, even when I first took these, and I’ve changed nothing about my diet or exercise routine since then, other than probably getting stoned and eating everything MORE often, because I’m alone a lot more now.

So here we go:

alt text

alt text

I actually cannot. LIKE. I CAN’T. Hahaha. Fuck.

I 100% checked myself to make sure I wasn’t sucking in when I took that side pic, too. THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE.


Also, you know how I said I wouldn’t buy a scale because it’s a sign that I’m going down the obsessive path?

I know, I know. :/ :/ :/ :/ :/

Amazon dropped it on my porch 20 minutes ago, right after I made this lovely discovery that I actually do look different.

I was weighed at the doc’s less than 2 weeks ago. Clothes on, no shoes. A little over 118. Not sure how much, I… try not to look at it when I see 118 pop up, since it’s my Shame Number. (Cliff notes version, that’s what I clocked at the doc’s office when I was 13, and when the doc left the room my mom made snarky comments about being 118 and then mentioned being “worried” about the stretch marks on my thighs.)

One of my neighbors is poorly playing the guitar with his door open right now, but he just started singing too and he’s got a wonderful voice, damn. Too bad this is the same guy I know is a total tool based on his phone conversations, lol.

FUCKING ANYWAY, I just weighed myself with the clothes I have on in the pic (which certainly weigh less than the full outfit + hoodie i had on at the doc’s), have only had coffee and La Croix so far today, and I’m 109 exactly.

I TRIED IT ON TWO DIFFERENT SURFACES. THIS SCALE HAS GOOD REVIEWS FOR ACCURACY. I… I DON’T… KNOW???

Had I eaten before I went to the doc last time? Almost certainly not, as it was morning time.

I also weigh myself occasionally at LP’s, and did so a couple weeks ago and saw the same number, 118.

I DON’T KNOW, MAN. Either this scale is way the fuck off, or I legitimately weigh 7-9 pounds less than I did a week and a half ago. And, water weight or nah, I’m losing my goddamn mind over it.

Oh also, yesterday I told Misha I was doing keto and he guessed my weight to be 110 and I was like “nah 118, but between 105 and 110 is where i’m happiest.” I didn’t realize I was already in that range when he asked? And apparently he guessed my weight correctly? Classic.

LASTLY: I FUCKING FINALLY WEIGH LESS THAN LP. I’ve been 115 or more since I met him 2 1/2 years ago, and he’s 115 basically always. So that’s always felt… idk, the opposite of emasculating? DE-LADY-ATING? That’s probably it.

ANYWAY TIME TO GO CONTINUE TO EAT CHEESE AND NOT WORK OUT AND STILL LOSE WEIGHT BYEEEEEEE.


Last updated July 07, 2018


Deleted user July 07, 2018

You look amazing! Keto rules! I personally love seeing the results come so quickly, 'cause that makes it really motivating to continue. But, fuck yeah, dude! You're killin' it already!

One Angry Dwarf Deleted user ⋅ July 07, 2018

Right?? That was one of my main reasons for picking this diet, cos I have basically zero staying power with anything hard, and I need instantaneous results to keep going. I just honestly didn't really EXPECT them, since so many diets promise fast results and it's all lies. I'm so happy!

girl in recession July 07, 2018

Yeah I'm not really surprised. I mean I lost 50 lbs without any exercising and ate bacon and cheese literally every day and drank alcohol regularly 🤷🏽‍♀️ Keto is fantastic.

One Angry Dwarf girl in recession ⋅ July 07, 2018

That's the thing, tho. Every goddamn diet SAYS you lose weight quickly and magically, and everyone who uses that diet makes the same claims, usually to the point where I'm concerned they've been indoctrinated into a suicide cult. So I was VERY surprised when it actually worked!

girl in recession One Angry Dwarf ⋅ July 07, 2018

Yeah I have never had this kind of success in any other type of diet or way of eating (and I've tried them all 😩). The only other time I lost weight faster was when I was legit sick and couldn't even down water.

girl in recession July 07, 2018

Sorry, my last comment made me sound like an asshole. What I meant to say was YOU LOOK AMAZING and honestly, most people can't get by the first week of keto because it isn't necessarily EASY at first. So consider it a huge accomplishment. I hope you FEEL good too 💙

Foofah July 07, 2018

You look amazing! Congrats on hitting your goal range!

Comfortably Numb July 13, 2018

But-- you're already tiny! I think -- I'm 5'10 and weight like literally two of you. :(

i mean you look great, and if you feel better that's good, but... I'm so envious.

You must be logged in to comment. Please sign in or join Prosebox to leave a comment.