CW: DIET STUFF.
I swear to God I’ll get less boring when I settle into this a little more. Probably?!?! (Ha ha yeah then I’ll go back to talking about failing to take dick with any regularity. SO THRILLING.)
DAY 4 AND I’M STILL FAT, KETO IS A LIE.
Ha ha jk jk jk I know that’s not how it works.
Last night I realized I’d left my blender container at work, so I couldn’t make butter coffee. :O :O :O :O :O :O :O
OH WELL, I wanted to see if that’s what’s making me hungry in the mornings anyway, and lo! It was! I’ve never been naturally hungry in the mornings, but if I force calories in my body before noon, it’ll rev my stomach motor and I’ll be hungry all friggin’ day.
Other people: Great, that means you’ve kick-started your metabolism!
Me: EXCEPT NOW I WILL EAT TWICE AS MUCH, IS THAT ACTUALLY HELPFUL WHEN I’M BURNING APPROXIMATELY THE SAME AMOUNT OF ENERGY??
So I have work coffee with heavy whipping cream and some shitty sweetener I bought cos I forgot to bring Stevia. Now it’s noon and I’m just starting to feel a couple hunger pangs, which is the normal time for me. Hooray!
I went over my calories yesterday, but not by much.
I know everything says you shouldn’t have to count calories on keto because SOMEHOW, MAGICALLY, IT ERASES CALORIES WITHOUT PROCESSING THEM THROUGH YOUR BODY APPARENTLY? But then some other stuff says “yeah no that’s insane, it’s still a calories in/calories out formula because that’s how the laws of physics work.”
I decided to ride the fence between the two and pick an upper-end estimate of what my daily intake should be to maintain my weight, and try to stick to that.
I need to remember:
I only started gaining noticeable weight when I started WILDLY overeating due to weed munchies. My body can self-stabilize pretty well.
when I drink beer (WHICH I DO FREQUENTLY), I drink microbrews, which are like 150-200 calories a pop. 2 beers in a night means I’m drinking a third of my calories for the day, and I still eat a normal amount on days I drink. There’s no way I’m not taking in fewer calories than I was. JUST BE COOL FOR A SECOND, IDIOT. EAT WHEN YOU’RE HUNGRY AND DON’T GET OBSESSED.
Speaking of. I’m getting hungry. Ha ha. I should probably eat something.
OH MY GOD THE MINI QUICHES FOR THE MONTHLY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION ARE KETO FRIENDLY AND I FUCKING LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Get inside me, Late Breakfast.
K SO IT’S BEEN AN HOUR SINCE I ATE THAT QUICHE AND I’M NOT EVEN REMOTELY HUNGRY AND IT’S THE ONLY THING I’VE EATEN TODAY. Hells yeah. It might have legit just been dat butter coffee. We’ll see!
None of the stuff I read mentioned being hungrier when you start keto, so I was getting worried. But I did some hunger-specific searches and a lot of people have this problem the first week. It sounds like it’s likely to level out in the second, and goes bye-bye in the third. If I make it that long. I’m still taking it one day at a time (though there’s no way in hell I’m quitting THIS soon).
Last thing: I’m really feeling the urge to buy a scale, and also last night I had fucking DREAMS about accidentally eating a cookie and kicking myself out of keto and then giving up and eating a bunch more cookies.
These are both major, major signs that I’m getting too obsessed, and I need to CHILL OUT. I don’t know how I’m gonna do that. Maybe make a conscious effort to think about other things, as I’ve essentially ONLY thought about my diet for the last three days. But I can get myself out of thought cycles. I know this! I’ve done it with both good and bad thoughts! Depression, infatuation, etc. (And this is more of a… neutral obsession?)
Obviously I’ll have to continue to dedicate a lot of mental energy to staying in keto until I get the hang of it, but I don’t have to spend all my free time thinking about it and researching it and dreaming of a future where this feels normal. FUCKING CALM DOWN.
It is 3 PM, 3 hours after mini-quiche and I’m still not hungry yet. I brought a salad for lunch that I’ll probably just eat for dinner now. #YOLOSWAG.
Time to go drink a La Croix and probably partially enjoy it for the first time in my entire life, considering unsweetened carbonated drinks are stupid and lame. BUT FLAVORED BEVERAGES VS. WATER ALL DAY FOREVER IS SLIGHTLY PREFERABLE I GUESS?
Last updated July 03, 2018