Nope in First Journal

Not doing well today. It all comes crashing down in a day, an hour, a minute. All my fronting of being okay is made into nothing. Manic is what I call it. I miss you bestie. I miss you love. I miss being happy. I miss feeling good about myself. I’m just rubble and bed rock with little motivation to rebuild without someone to shelter. I dont mind being out in the cold until it gets to me. Then, I’m the face of the built up misery and those around me know it by looking at me. My eyes always give me away.