Well that sucks in First Journal

I fucked up my chances for sure. I knew if I lost my cool it would cost me. Its true we should be apart for a while but I still miss her. I don’t know if that will pass but my need for her to be around may. Or get easier to bear. I think it is but I still think about her sometimes. I’m trying to break a habit kind of. A thought cycle that is triggered by thing I used to do when we lived together or we used to do together. I want to tell her how my day was. I want to tell anyone. I don’t like being alone all the time. I miss my best friend. We will be able to hang out someday soon. I still want to go places with her and I hope she wants to do that with me someday. I’m still putting hope in her and that’s what set me off before. I cant control that I love her. I’ve got a busy weekend and I’m gonna try n stay busy this coming week. Take it day by day and see what happens. I cant believe I fucked it up.