I get drifty when... in Prompts from my Master

  • June 13, 2018, 1:05 p.m.
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…Master doesn’t give me things to do. Mentally I start to drift. I need to be prompted or I don’t want to do anything. If my mind is active I will get more things done. I make myself tired by the contestant beratement of myself. If I feel good about myself I want to clean and organize my surroundings. Otherwise I’m content to wade in the filth. I had a dream I was depressed. And today I don’t feel like doing anything. My parents are visiting and they took my children to their hotel. So technically I don’t have to do anything until later. But I should be taking advantage of the kid free time to get things done. They bring so many toys and things with them. I get overwhelmed. I need to have the time and energy to put these things away but instead they are just everywhere. Then I feel my moms anxiety about having this stuff all over. I have to remember it’s her fault they are here and I’ll get to putting it away when I feel like it. Then she wants to help. Which doesn’t help. I’m not ocd or anything but I have my own way of doing things. I have to hide my laundry from her. I hate the way she folds my clothes. She even folds my underwear. Then she has to question where I put my dishes. It’s my house, I can do what I want. They stress me out but also give me relief so I’ll take it.

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