Goals in First Journal

It’s funny how much I want the instant gratification of her taking me back right now. It would feel great but it is unearned. I see other men in their cars driving with their women in the passenger seat. I can’t even offer that. Let alone stability and a sense that I’m confident In who I am and what I have to offer. In my logical thinking I know I need to have and be more so that I can feel confident in myself. That what I have to offer is worth something. I know also that she is finding herself. I hope she finds herself wanting a man like the one I will aspire to be. I’m already in the place of being able to love and be kind but that is not enough. I want to be provide for myself and be the best I can, so that will be my goal. But where to start? I need a career. I need a car for the career. I need a better credit report. Ha! I have a home I can stay in for years. I have my health. I have my charming good looks. Ha! I have the will I just need the path. I’ll have to step off the road I’m on and into and through the foliage I can’t see past. It might be a thorn bush or a wolf on the other side that will chase me back. I’ve armed myself with determination and a goal. An abstract goal that may change once I set out. A friend of mine once told me that life starts outside the comfort zone. He’s right I think. He may have been the wisest traveler, Odin in human form. Nahhh

Last updated June 07, 2018