From All Sides in Every day scata

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12:51 am

I’ll never catch up with everyone. Unfortunately that means I’m going to read the most recent entries and be completely lost.

The bipolar roller coaster is now going uphill too fast. Well, today it is. Mighty hypomanic. Bouncing around the house, dancing and singing with the dogs. Talking too much. I babble to the point of being annoying.

If only I would be hypo when I’m working. I was a tad hyper Sunday at the Alpenhorn. 32 flights of stairs, over 10k steps. I was buzzing around the place.

Of course I would rather be bouncing off the walls than laying in bed all day. But I know I won’t sleep tonight. I mean, it’s way past my bedtime, and I feel wide awake.

I hurt though. Weather is causing fibro pain, and I have a headache for some reason. I think it may be my blood pressure. The auto cuff is upstairs, and I find it very hard to take my own bp manually.

I stopped taking the Welbutrin. Because I’m weird, it had the total opposite effect with my SAD. I didn’t take it for a few days and the depression lifted slightly. Took it yesterday and just wanted to hide under the covers. Only took me 2 months to figure out the cause smh.

I haven’t checked to see if the grant would cover the latency sleep study. I really think it was the welbutrin. Plus, I’m having issues with insomnia again. I (usually) fall asleep around 10, but have been getting up at 2:30 every morning. The time never wavers. I never do fall back to sleep when I wake up at that time. So the insomnia will mess up the day time “lets see how fast she falls asleep” And now that I’m on an upswing, I know I won’t be feeling like I’m going to drop to the floor.

and of course, here I am, 1 am, wide awake.

Dr does want to do a biopsy on my hand. I’m blowing it off. Mainly because I think it’s nothing, but also I’m a tad bit afraid of what it may show. So if I have to go in, or if I can’t stand staring at the mole waiting for it to change (it hasn’t, but it’s a suspicious color and raised) I’ll have her do the biopsy. It really wouldn’t hurt to have it done. Just an office visit. But if I’m going to go it, I want to go in for more than one reason because I don’t like going to the doctor. I’ll stack a few issues together and go in.

Thursday is hopefully my last appt with the ortho. I’m still in a lot of pain, but I think this is going to be the new normal for me. Yes, mom. I’m doing PT.

I have a new client. It will only be a once a month cleaning, and that is fine. He lives in senior housing so the apartment is tiny. It was nasty dusty. and I have no allergy meds. I’ve been sneezing since I cleaned yesterday. the sister is the one who set it all up. He is unable with mental disabilities. His sister was hoping the clean place will make him clean up a little bit more. You know how overwhelming it is when your place is a mess. You just don’t know where to start, so you don’t do anything at all.

Also got a message on fb for a move out clean, and then once they rip up the carpet and put the new stuff down I’ll go back again. They don’t even want me to wash the walls for the painting. that doesn’t make too much sense to me. But whatever. I’ll be meeting her on Saturday to see what it really looks like. I mean, why hire me to clean when you don’t want me to clean what should be cleaned. ::shrug:: Who am I to argue? It’s a job. I told her that there will be a 20 dollar travel fee and she didn’t have a problem with that. Pam is going to drive me there to meet on Saturday. I don’t drive the interstate and I don’t really know the access roads. I’m lucky that Pam is willing to do this for me. And of course I’ll have google maps. I can’t get it to put me on the access roads though. it wants me to take the interstate ::sigh::

Ok, the pain is getting worse for no reason. I better lay down. I will try to read you all tomorrow.

See ya.