I’m never around.
Lately, I’ve been sucked into a giant blah and have been doing the bare minimum to keep breathing. I’ve been ignoring people because I can’t force myself to talk, I’ve been ignoring myself. I sit on the sofa and do nothing. I curl up in a blanket let the animals crowd around and I sit there until the guys come home then say hi (sometimes) and go back to sitting.
I have so many things to be doing. I miss people on here, I need to send letters, I need to do things I’ve been putting off. I need to LIVE. This is not how I wanted my life to be, and I know a lot of people say that but I am not asking for much, just the will to do, well, anything.
I forced myself to clean the house the other day and I was exhausted, and it took me forever. I normally clean in a snap and everything is done, but this took me hours. Luckily no one was home to see my defeat. I wasn’t sitting down and slacking off, I was up cleaning the entire time I was just that freaking slow.
I find taking a shower exhausting.
I will reverse this… and writing here again is the first step.. or was that the shower?