My small head cold is turning into a nightmare. Now I’m blessed with that really annoying/deep cough and loss of voice. Oh joy. And I’m supposed to be going to that Galantis show this weekend. PLUS I’ll just be getting my period and that’s always a wonderful experience.
So basically I’m being a baby. I don’t really want to go. I’m sure I COULD cancel and she wouldn’t care being she ended up winning the tickets so it wouldn’t be any loss of money.... but I just know she really wants to go so I’d end up feeling super guilty. So I’ll just hope that the medicine kicks in a little better. It has four days. I’ve been taking it for three. I should feel better. (Even if I do feel better, I still really don’t want to go but I already agreed so there isn’t much I can do)
My brain is in a little better of a place than the last few days. Maybe it’s been the lack of sleep… which is caused by the nonstop thinking… which is caused by the lack of sleep..... It’s just dumb. I’m in my head. I’m overthinking. I’m over analyzing. I’m driving MYSELF crazy. I’m going to attempt just to stop and go with the flow again.
Of course this is all about Danny. And I’m tryyyyyying not to be such a crazy girl. Especially when I kind of knew what I was getting into with Danny. I KNOW he’s quiet. I KNOW he’s “anti-social”. I KNOW it’s hard to get a decent conversation out of him, sometimes. But that’s not even the issue. Well. It kind of is. He’s been quiet lately and THAT’S OKAY. I just want to know it’s a quiet because he’s busy or whatever and not a quiet because he’s bored/uninterested or going to ghost like he did last time he was quiet.
But yesterday I was a head case (thanks 3 hours of sleep) and just so angry at him for no reason (besides his being quiet) He usually works on some random project after work. He just finished one and has nothing to do. He has a slow week at work so I’m like, “Well you have to think of something to do outside of work so you entire week isn’t wasted”
He says, “yeah idk.”
And then he said about an hour later after I didn’t reply because I was done. “Maybe I’ll just start selling cocaine or something”
“Sure. Why not, I guess. If that’s the only thing you can think of…go ahead.”
“What’s your idea then”
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LET’S HANG OUT.
LET’S GO TO THE MOVIES.
LET’S GO TO THE ARCADE.
LET’S GO TO THE ZOO.
LET’S GO WALK AROUND THE MALL.
LET’S GO HIKING?
LET’S GO OUT TO EAT.
LET’S GRAB A DRINK.
LET’S COOK DINNER.
LET’S DO SOMETHINGGGGG.
I understand that he gets up early. I am not being selfish and needing him to spend all night with me or everyday with me. But he’s bored and doing nothing. I’m available. We GENERALLY text all night anyway- why not just grab dinner or something?
But of course I didn’t say that to him.
We ended up texting all night though. He wasn’t so quiet. And he still seems interested… or at least talking about “future” plans so that’s put my mind to ease a little bit?
I know it’s all just so soon so I’m going to try to stop being crazy and overthinking things. I guess we’re kind of similar in ways. We’re both so guarded? I don’t know if that’s the right word I’m looking for. But I just feel like I need to have patience and I am the most impatient person ever so it’s going to be a challenge.... but a challenge that I’ll welcome because for some reason, I just still really like Danny.
In other news, because I’ve been trying to avoid sitting and going crazy over a boy, I’ve been busy. I am almost done painting my spare room. I had a dark teal accent wall.... but decided just to paint the whole room the same dark teal. Everyone told me it’d be too dark for such a small room but I’m OBSESSED. I’m in love with it. I have white trim and the room is so small that one room is basically white anyway because of the closet doors.
I decided I’m painting my bedroom even darker. A dark gray. Oh man I’m so excited. I was hoping to get it done next weekend - during my long weekend. I’ll have to post pictures once I’m done :)
Last updated 6 days ago