Heartache every moment in We make beautiful

  • Nov. 14, 2017, 7:53 a.m.
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  • Public

You know I have Andrea to thank for getting me into HIM. So my life is pretty good. I got a job as a security officer. I was told that it’ll look good on my resume when I apply to be a police officer. First I gave to pass my citizenship test and that fucker is HARD. You have ONE chance to pass. ONE. Not to mention a $1,200.00 fee for taking it. Or is it that much for each time you try and fail? Either way you can’t be an officer unless you’re a citizen.

I can’t say much since I had to sign a confidentiality agreement but, I got to drive the car with the flashing lights. I played the Robocop song as I drove around. Highlight of my night.

After that I went to the gym and I thought I’d be able to do two hours but I did 53 minutes instead. I did a lot of walking today making my rounds.

I burned 350 calories before bed. I’m tired. I’m beat. My feet hurt and my body feels like jello.

Towards the end this huge fat guy started working out beside me on the treadmill. I’m trying to to shed my gut so I wonder if I looked that bad because no one else worked out beside me. I should have asked if he needed a gym buddy. I need one but my hours are weird. I work from 4 pm to midnight. Then I let my phone charge and then I go git the gym. Every morning after work.

I’m at 182 and I need to be at 160. I was there 4 months ago so I can do it again.

I got access to my original Facebook account and I posted some photos of my past. Some of Alyssa and I, my cats, Adrienne. Then my hot friend and crush Kayla commented on one of them. She said that the guy Alyssa is with looks like he has his shit together. I’ll get my shit together one of these days. Not sure when.

I had a bad crush on her but I picked Alyssa and Kayla got married.

I really regret not taking her to the theme park.

I really fucked up. But at least she’s happy now and has a nice life. Things work out you know. Beside, I’m bad news.

I just want to you know, NOT be a disappointment.

I want to be hot again and, well that’s about it. I want to grow my hair out again but with me wanting to be a cop, which I can’t because of my age. I will be a armored truck guard. They get guns. If not can I be a detective? Who knows? I want to be something great, and look good while I’m at it. I know I’ll have to cut my hair. At least for now I can enjoy it.

I also got a check for $200 dollars in the mail for a credit card. I made payments on it and I guess I some sort of consumer something happened and they had to pay me $200 dollar and clean it off my record. I’m fine with that. They also can’t ask me to pay the $300 dollars I had on that credit card. Whatever happened, I’m fine with it. I’ll buy a salmon salad and treat myself.

I’ve already cut the soda out. Well, I had 3 today and they TASTED SO FUCKING GOOD.

First I’ll buy a hair iron. Goodness do I need one BADLY.

Well that’s it. I’m going to bed.

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