Nobody dies in Deplorable thoughts

Republican Rep. Raul Labrador sparked outrage from his audience and online after saying “nobody dies” for lack of health care access in a town hall Friday night at Lewis-Clark State College in Lewiston, Idaho.
Labrador made the comments the day after the U.S. Hose passed a GOP-led health care bill repealing and replacing chunks of Obamacare. Labrador, a member of the conservative House Freedom Caucus, was responding to an audience member who expressed concern about how the bill would affect Medicaid recipients.
’You are mandating people on Medicaid accept dying. You are making a mandate that will kill people,’ the audience member said, before being drowned out by Labrador’s response.
’No one wants anybody to die,’ Labrador said. ‘You know, that line is so indegfensible. Nobody dies because they don’t have access to health care.’

I’ve had a bad morning.
I am both ill and injured at the moment
and debating whether I can afford the $50
to go to an Urgent Care facility to get myself checked out.
I have insurance,
and it would only cost $50,
but that’s $50 that isn’t in this month’s budget,
so I am weighing the seriousness of my condition.

I am trying desperately to dig myself out of debt.
I could easily use a credit card,
borrow $50 from my future self at usurious interest,
but I so so don’t want to.

So here I am
debating money versus healthcare
even though I have insurance.

If I had no insurance,
there would be no debate.
The answer would be a foregone conclusion.
And let’s say these problems I have were life-threatening
(they’re most definitely not),
I would make the wrong decision for all the very worst reasons.

Of late I have become near obsessive about two things -
politics and, as always, my incredibly overdue lottery win.

I am one of those people that the current group of elected assholes do not care about.
(Who are the idiots electing these deplorables?
Oh, yeah, the over-empowered not majority.)
I have a number of pre-existing conditions.
I am getting on in years.
Some could even argue that my owning a pair of breasts also makes me less important.

I have insurance now, but…
My job is always tenuous.
I lose my job, I lose my insurance and have to rely upon - What now?
The new wave of political power is out to destroy the middle-class,
to forget the lower class,
to funnel as much money upward
from those who have little to those who have more than enough,
certainly enough to be magnimous and look kindly upon those who are in need,
those from whom they are now systematically stealing and planning to steal more.

But that’s all the politics
and there’s nothing there to make me feel better.

As I said, I had a bad morning.
I started feeling bad yesterday,
but it was one of those things that just happens now and again,
nasty physical annoyance that strikes and you hope just goes off on its own,
but never actually does.
Might as well just say it, embarrassing as it is.
I have a UTI.
It’s easy to self-diagnose,
really hard to miss the characteristic burning punctuation to every visit to the restroom.
Oh joy.

Well, I didn’t do anything about it yesterday, because,
you know, you always decide these things are going to go away.
Plus, I have a small arsenal of pharmaceuticals laid by, in case,
and having a course of antibiotics on hand, I started on them last night.
(Yes, I am aware that they may not be the right ones, but this is health-care at its stupidest, going with what you can afford until things get so out of hand you either end up in the emergency room or, well, let’s not get dramatic.)

Why do I have antibiotics on hand?
I happen to have a primary care physician ($35 a visit)
who understands my pre-existing conditions.
One of my physical background conditions is an auto-immune syndrome
which manifests in hideous recurrent abcesses in the most painful and embarassing areas.
My doctor knows I know when I need antibiotics
(which work about half the time on the condition)
and kindly prescribes so that I can have a course on hand whenever I need it
without having to wait (and suffer) (and pay extra) every time the inevitable occurs.
(I really like her.)

So anyway, I was already feeling a bit punk this morning
when a second pre-existing condition kicked in and made things even more exciting.
Vaso-vagal syncopy is basically just a fancy phrase for fainting from certain physical or mental stressors.
Some people faint at the sight of blood.
Me? I faint when I vomit.
Not every time.
Some times I just brown out for a second and then snap right back before I go down.
Other times I take the full dive, hit the ground (and anything in the path on the way) full dead fall.
It makes living alone when you have the flu really fun.
Yes, I have injured myself in the fall upon occasion
(you should have seen the spectacular black eye I got when my face hit the granite countertop at my mother’s house)
and I have a justifiable fear of aspirating.
It would be so annoying to have my death certificate list “Poor Regurgatory Management” as my cause of death.

Apparently now I have a new vasovagal trigger.
One second I’m unhappy about the burning as I reluctantly empty my bladder
and the next moment I’m draped across the side of the tub,
head on the rubber mat, legs on the tile in front of the sink,
disoriented and very very panicked.

But it’s all good(ish).
I must have hit moderately hard, cause the bruise on my left side just below the bra-line,
is pretty dramatic, but I’m fairly sure it’s all soft tissue damage, no broken ribs.
It definitely aches and hurts to touch
and breathing deeply is rather unpleasant,
but movement of my arm only annoys a little,
so I’m going with not serious
and not over-reacting.
If things are worse by tomorrow,
I can always go then.

I have insurance.
Money’s only a minor consideration in my decision.
Personal stubbornness and a fierce streak of independence
are far more influential in my decision.
Thank heavens I have the resources others soon may not.

Oh, in case you’re wondering,
I have padded the bathroom tub and floor,
Even though I’ve been drinking a lot of fluids (cranberry included)
and eliminating all I’ve taken in,
I haven’t had a recurrence of falldown syndrome.
Here’s hoping it was just the once.

Last updated May 07, 2017