Salvation in Things That I'm Grateful For

Amongst the idiotic romantic entanglements into which I’ve been getting myself, there has also been the situation of my grandmother’s deteriorating health. The main problem I’m having with the whole situation is not her impending death, she has prepared me for that very well herself; I mean, it’ll still be painful, it just won’t be the main grief.

The main problem I have has to do with my grandfather (the one who constantly reminds me I’m going to Hell, is relieved that we have a “Godly” president in Trump, and still calls black people “negroes” [despite the fact that he’s not white]). He’s been doing things lately that have made me realize that he’s descended back into the religious madness that my mother has often described as her childhood.

Look, he and my grandmother raised me, I’m no stranger to the philosophies of Christianity and the way that one excuses away things like logic or reason in order to justify a worldview that fits in with a theology. Not only am I not a stranger to it, I understand it for the most part, and despite my harsh feelings toward Christianity personally, this extends mostly to the American breed of Christianity and not to the belief system as a whole. I think Christianity is a wonderful tool and faith system, as I feel the same way about Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism. (Don’t get me started on Scientology)

The other day, I got a call from my grandfather early in the morning because he had discovered that my grandmother fell (something which is, unfortunately, not an uncommon occurrence) and as he cannot lift her from the ground, asked me to assist. As I was pulling her upright, she cowered in pain and I noticed a movement above her right elbow. I mentioned it to him and said, “We should probably call an ambulance.”

He responded with, “No, we’ll just pray and the Lord will heal it.”

I said, “No, I think it’s broken. She needs immediate care.”

“Well,” he said, “we’ll just pray it’s nothing serious.”

“I’m telling you, it is serious,” and then I turned to her, “Would you like to go to the ER?”

She responded with an affirmative nod and then after some huffing and puffing from him, he finally called an ambulance.

He lives in that fantasy world where the words of a man who is faithful can set and completely heal a broken bone in front of your eyes. He’s one step below those crazy snake Christians.

I was right, she did have a broken arm, and they gave her Norco so she’s feeling much more willing to allow the Lord to do his thing. The reason I have a problem with this is because her deteriorating health means that she needs someone who can dispassionately assess her medical condition without resorting to theological excuses not to seek proper medical care.

Unfortunately, it seems that that person is not my grandfather/her husband.

I’m thankful that I’m aware enough as an individual not to delude myself or keep illusions just to make me feel better. Maybe I do regarding some relationships coughEdgarcough, but I like to think that about the major life decisions I’ve had for at least the last 10 years, they haven’t been clouded by my need to believe in Christ. Because for all my disappointment with the church, I still find myself believing in everything my grandfather believes in… I just like to think that God is not just love, but God is a complicated intelligence.

Even man has come to a point where we say about drug addicts and alcoholics, “you can’t save someone, who won’t save themselves”. Do you think God is going to intervene on your behalf when you haven’t done anything with your own energy to prove that you want this miracle and will believe that it is such?

Last updated March 21, 2017