Ask Me No Questions in Things That I'm Grateful For

Sometimes you just want to answer questions and not have to sort through your own thoughts.

What’s your middle name? Daniel

What are you listening to right now?

What was the last thing you ate? A tortilla wrapped breakfast thing that I made at my mother’s because I still haven’t fixed my appliances.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? That would be TJ.

Do you drink? Yes, although I’m trying to assess any patterns associated with that behavior and evaluating what exactly that means in the larger context of my mental health.

Do you smoke? Same as above.

What is the first thing you notice in someone? This is a strange question but I guess the simplest answer is that I evaluate threat potential. I try to feel someone’s vibe to see if they’re someone who is friendly or hostile… usually, I treat everyone as hostile until they’ve proven themselves as friendly.

What is your hair color? Blonde

What is your eye color? Blue

Do you wear contacts/glasses? No, but I’m sure one day I will, and I’m not exactly looking forward to that day.

Dogs or cats? I prefer dogs but I understand the appeal of cats.

What’s your favorite animal? Anything friendly and cuddly.

What’s your favorite television show? I enjoy a great many shows, Queer As Folk, Murder, She Wrote, Golden Girls, Roseanne, Mary Tyler Moore, Daria.... but I don’t watch current television.... except I watched Downton Abbey.

What’s your favorite movie? I used to always say that I loved A League of Their Own and Fried Green Tomatoes, but I’m finding myself slowly losing the attachments I made to things that were constructed by heterosexist culture. I suppose I’d have to say more niche things like the French films The String and A Question of Love, a quebecois film called C.R.A.Z.Y., the Taiwanese movie Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, The Way He Looks… if you’re thinking English language, I’d have to go with the stand-by’s Get Real, and my serious obsession with Maurice.

What’s your favorite band/singer? Madonna & Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac… duh

How old are you? Thirty-two.

Do you have a crush on anyone? My life is a mess so I have a crush on everyone because I look outside myself to feel good.

What’s your sexual orientation? I’m going to agree with the TBD option of the previous survey taker mainly because of how much everything is fluctuating. I’m not upset by it, it’s all a continual evolution.

What’s your favorite color? I don’t have any kind of emotional associations with color.

What was your most embarrassing moment? When my boyfriend’s mother walked in on me giving a blow-job to her son.

Do you ever wish you were someone else? I’ve wished this since I was young enough to know what wishes were.

What were you like when you were a kid? Quiet, sad and smart.

What would your dream house be like? I don’t really think about things like this. As long as I’m safe and my needs are taken care of, that’s fine. It would be nice to have an indoor pool, though.

What last made you laugh? Some stupid meme I posted to Instagram.

What is your favorite word? Absorb.

What is your least favorite word? Power.

What turns you on? This is part of the fluctuations of my life right now so I’ll let you know when things are settled a bit.

What turns you off? Not as many things as those that turn me on.

What is your star sign? Scorpio

What are your favorite books? I’m a sucker for Jane Austen, and as part of my “getting away from heterosexist culture” cocoon that I’m going for, I’ve enjoyed the Adrien English stories and the Something Like… series. But I tend toward classics like Dracula, the Rubaiyat and Dorian Gray.

Do you have any siblings? I have five siblings. My youngest, a sister, recently gave birth, so I’m an uncle now.

Do you like to dance? I adore dancing but I’m at a paranoid point in my life where I feel very self-conscious about it.

What is your definition of cheating? I think that it’s breaking trust, whatever form that takes.

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yes, and coming to grips with that has been an interesting journey.

Do you regret anything? Oh yeah.

Do you have any phobias? I’m afraid of a great many stupid things.

Ever broken any bones? I broke my wrist in third grade while playing on the playground, but my mother thought I was over-reacting and didn’t take me to the doctor. When she finally did, six weeks later, the doctor told her that it had healed wrong and they had to re-break it and then put it in a cast for three months. That was the first time I started losing trust in my mother.

Ever come close to death? Many times, whether it was during my incarceration or having lived in rough neighborhoods.

What is your religion, if any? I still consider myself a follower of Jesus Christ, but I prefer to think of myself as a little more pragmatic than a Christian.

Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yes, and it’s a total joke.

Are looks important in a relationship? The way someone looks at me should be important, they should look at me as if they love me and I should give that look back.

Are you more like your mom or your dad? I am a perfect blend of the two of them, right down to my neuroses.

What is your favorite season? Whenever it rains.

Do you have any tattoos? Three and counting....

Do you have any piercings? I did, but they closed and I’m upset about that…

How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? I refuse to answer this question.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Brian Kinney, obvs.

Who is your celebrity crush? I don’t really have one.

Are you a virgin? …like have I had sex yet today?

Do you get jealous easily? Yes, but I’m pretty good at processing it so that it doesn’t become a hurdle. At least, I think so. There’s nothing I find more irritating than someone who is in denial of their jealousy… that’s my second least favorite word “denial”

What is your favorite type of food? Chinese food and French Fries.

Do you ever want to get married? I would love to meet someone who would make me consider getting married, but probably won’t happen any longer.

Who was your first kiss with? It was Joe. Everything was Joe and Joe was everything. I would’ve married him in a heartbeat.

Have you ever been cheated on? No.

What is your idea of the perfect date? At this point, I’m just going to agree with Cheryl Frasier.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I am an introvert who learned to be extroverted because of the kinds of societal expectations by which I found myself surrounded.

Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? Usually this question is phrased with “intelligent life” and I would always respond, “We haven’t even proven there’s intelligent life on THIS planet.”

What talent do you wish you’d been born with? I’m fine with my talents as they are.

What is your saddest memory? Now I have to rank them? Fuck this question.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I’ll answer with a qualified yes only because I know that love at first sight has to be synchronized with another person with the same level of responsiveness and openness. If either of the parties are hesitant or unwilling to lay it all on the line, the lack of balance will throw it off-kilter.

Do you believe in soul mates? Absolutely.

Have you ever dyed your hair? I didn’t see my natural hair color during my twenties.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Ha! Most of the things people “know” about me are rumors.

Would you go against your moral code for money? Probably, only because my only true moral is to be flexible.

What are three things most people don’t know about you? Are there things people don’t know about me?

Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? Occasionally.

How long was your longest relationship? Joe, two years.

Is the glass half empty or half full? Just break the glass and stop judging.

What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? I like it when men lay on top of me with all their weight. It’s the only way I don’t feel alone.

Who is your most loyal friend? I have many loyal friends but they’ve all made mistakes. I’d rather have honest human friends than lying saintly friends.

Are you in a relationship? I’m in a relationship with my iTunes playlists.

If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Stevie Nicks is my boyfriend right now and she always knows how to purge what I’m feeling.

Are you a bad person? Good/bad in terms of judgment is a tricky thing because it depends on the perspective of the person giving the opinion. I’ve done some shady shit that I’m sure has fucked over other people and makes them think I’m a bad person, but in general I hope that people believe that I’m not trying to harm anyone.

Are you a lover or a fighter? Love is a battlefield. You have to fight for love.

What did you do on your last birthday? I sat at home alone drinking gin.

What is your favorite quote and why? It’s the quote I have on the front page of my profile.

If your best friend died, what would you do? Death is just another journey and I’d be sad, but I’d get through it like I have with every other death.

If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? I think I’d have been more open and honest about my sexuality sooner because it’s always been my need to obscure that truth that has caused so many problems throughout my whole life.

If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Spend the day with my brothers.

Are you happier single or in a relationship? I cannot answer that question since it has been so long since I’ve been in a relationship. However, I think happiness doesn’t depend on a variable outside of the individual seeking the happiness. Variables can increase happiness and they can decrease it, but they cannot take it away. Happiness is like power, you willingly give it away.

Who were you in a past life? Probably one of those poor bitches burned at Salem.

What is your happiest childhood memory? Riding on the back of my grandfather’s motorcycle around the West Coast.

Have you ever experienced unrequited love? That should be a Facebook relationship status.

Have you ever had an imaginary friend? Yes.

If you were the president, what would you do? Who the fuck would vote for me?!?!

What is your ideal career? I’d just like to sing and live from doing that.

What is your political affiliation? Libertarian.

Are you conservative or liberal? Fiscally conservative, socially liberal.

Is the male or female body closest to perfection? I don’t have a definition of “perfection”.... although Thyago Alves is pretty fucking close.

Do you like kissing in public? When I finally felt safe enough to do it, I loved it.

If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? I think I’d prefer to be in another country, probably in Europe.

Where would you like to live? Paris.

Where would you go on your dream vacation? I’ve had enough vacations, I’m ready to find where I belong.

Describe yourself in one word. Calumny.

Describe yourself in one sentence. Many things have been said about me, I’ll even bet some of them are true.