"Friends" in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

“Type entry here…“

Wow, thanks for giving me something to aspire to.

What am I supposed to say? I’ll have no rest. I have just 48 hours to get my application to France finished and I can’t seem to finish the last few portions of it. It’s quite frustrating. Once that’s finished, I’ll work all weekend and have one week of somewhat rest before I have to do it all over again when school starts the following Monday.

Kevin, my straight friend, has switched jobs so I never see him any longer. He already lived far away, but came through town quite often for work. Now that he works closer to where he lived, I’ve basically lost my entire group of friends. I think I’m okay with that simply because I was drinking too much and enjoying cocaine far more often than I ever have in my life. Drugs were always something I did at special times with special people… with Kevin and all his friends, special times suddenly meant “Wednesday”.

The thing is, now that Kevin’s gone, I suddenly got a little desperate for fun, so I ended up going all the way to the bad part of town to visit my old fuck buddy from a few years ago. I actually wasn’t going to run into him specifically, I was just going to a bar I used to hang out at when I wanted to prove that I wasn’t just a suburbanite.

I’m always trying to fight against labels given to me… it’s rather stupid of me.

Anyways, there was my favorite fuck from 2013… muscled up and big-lipped. Sexier than I remembered, but it wasn’t really happening for me. I mean, we drank and had fun, I ran into some ninny that I went to school with back in 2010, but it was all rather low-key… Even when we decided to try and figure out who had the bigger dick, which I sent out in a mass Snapchat message (sorry if you got that and weren’t too keen on seeing my cock), I wasn’t really that horny. I just enjoyed seeing someone I was happy to see.

Constantly spending time around someone that drives you nuts and makes you want to run screaming for the hills (my mother) means that there’s never any reason to smile.

My friend Sarah, whom I’ve been friends with since our ages could be counted on one hand, called me and tried to get me to be enthusiastic about things, but I’m just so nonplussed by her right now. I mean, she’s been dating a guy for about four months and is already setting her wedding date for October… he hasn’t proposed, mind you. Then, when she discovered that I might be moving to France in September, her only response was that I’d better find a way to San Diego for her wedding in October or she’d be forever mad at me.

She told me that marriage is once-in-a-lifetime and I should sacrifice France for her because I’ve already been there. I know she didn’t mean it that way, but that’s how it came off, and I just thought, who the fuck does she think she is? She keeps insisting that we’re “best friends forever” and I’m inclined to agree that because of our connection since infancy we will always be aware and tangentially apart of one another’s lives, but she has already pulled away from me and others simply because she’s now able to do those “couple” things that she’s always wanted to do.

But one cannot ignore me and then expect me to be there waiting like a blissed out dachshund. It doesn’t work that way. Now I know why I did so much cocaine in 2015.