or…
Things I learned about my teens while traveling with them.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know my kids. I’ve been living with them their whole lives. I can tell you about their likes, dislikes, personalities, friends, how they do in school…
but when you are trapped driving in a car with them for the better part of 9 hours each way and staying in a motel while on vacation, you find out a lot more!
(and don’t worry… there really aren’t 10. I know you don’t have all time to sit here and read my insights, so I’ve kept it down to a shorter list!)

1. Boys are stinky.
   Of course I already knew this. The boychild is the younger of my two sons. I’ve raised boys. I know they are not the most hygienic creatures on the earth. They fart, they burp, they forget deodorant and tooth brushing sometimes. But really.... you never know how stinky boys are until you are cooped up with them in a confined space for an extended period of time. And it’s not just foot odor, it’s all over odor. Where does that come from? Is it pheromones? If that is what they emit to draw in the opposite sex, it looks like the boychild will be a monk for the rest of his life.

gotakeanothershower

1. Girls are stinky, too.
   Forget that “sugar and spice and everything nice” crap.
   Girls fart and burp, too. Sometimes in competition with their brothers. Despite pleas from the parental unit to “knock it off now or I’ll pull this car over so help me!”
   And the additional odors they put onto themselves on purpose....
   sometimes that body wash, hair gel, body lotion, hairspray, and whatever else comes out of those dozen little bottles you brought with you don’t always exist cohesively together. #pickonefragranceatatimeplease.

2. The girlchild is a slob.
   I mean, I already knew she was messy. I’ve seen her room. There’s no way I could ever live in there, but it’s her space and as long as I can close the door and not have to pass by it and fight the urge to burn it down and start all over every time I go down the hallway, I’m ok with it.
   But Oh-em-geeeee… I did not realize just HOW slobby she was until this trip with the motel stay.
   It’s like she has this “release and drop” policy. For everything.
   Changing clothes?… let the old ones just fall to the floor and stay there. Wherever you happen to be standing when you change. No sense picking them up and putting them with other dirty clothes, or hanging them up/putting them back in the suitcase if you only wore them an hour or so, like you do most outfits.... that would just mean less laundry later and we all know it’s much easier just to rewash things than to put them away.
   Eating a snack?…the world is her trashbin. Cheez-It box between the bed and the wall; Empty Dr. Pepper cans on every table in the room. That poptart she just had to have from the vending machine… half eaten, lying on the tv with crumbs scattered in a trail marking where she walked while eating.
   ** and let’s not forget the vanity in the bathroom where EVERY.SINGLE.THING she stuffed into those 3 makeup bags lies strewn about, scattered from one end to the other, leaving no room for anyone else’s toothpaste or hairbrush. Seriously? 64 bobby pins, 3 kinds of hair gel, 4 facial cleansing products, hair straightener, hair curler, the BIG bottle of hairspray.... I could slap price tags on everything and have enough to open our own beauty supply store.

pickupyourdangstuff

1. My taste in music is apparently not as bad as they like to make me think it is.
   Case in point… while flipping through the XM radio stations I have preset (classic vinyl, 80s on 8, 70s on 7, the Blend, Hair Nation, etc…) not only did they know a lot of the songs we heard playing, but they could sing EVERY WORD to A-Ha’s “Take On Me”.

1. Moms are great to hang out with when there are too many relatives you do not know and you are feeling insecure.
   Most of the time they just want to be left alone, right? They go in their rooms, shut the door, IM their friends about all the things they “heart” and play video games all night long. But when in a social setting, where there are people so excited to see them and tell them how much they’ve grown in 5 years, and hug them and feed them and show them off to each other.... Mom is not so bad a pal to have around.

security #canwegohomenow

So while ya gotta love ‘em, because they are your kids, and that’s the rule. You don’t always have to like being around them. Well, except for those last 2 points. Knowing I’m right about something and knowing I’m needed does kinda make a mom feel good. We don’t get that too often during these teenage years. I guess I can put up with the stenches and the messiness for a few more years…although I’m not sure those are any of the things I’m “gonna miss when they’re gone!”

gogetmeashovel

And oh yeh.. one more thing I learned on my own…without the help of the children…
ALWAYS pack your own toilet paper for a road trip.
Those gas station and McDonald’s bathrooms use the cheap stuff that either scratches, tears, or both.

ohmyachingbum #Charminwhereareyou

Last updated July 06, 2015