Finally! in 2020s

“If the Arabs put down their weapons, there would be peace. If the Jews put down theirs, they would no longer exist.”

I believe this wholeheartedly and that self-defense is not genocide, but I also respect the opinions and beliefs of others as I expect them to do with me in return. ;)

It’s happening! Yes, step 3 is finally happening after an 8-month fight. One of the most common journal prompts is what the biggest lesson you’ve learned in life is, and it used to be that many things would spring to my mind, like trusting my instinct, not being too forgiving, saving money, etc. Now it goes something like this: Never ignore your problems. They won’t go away just because you don’t want to deal with them.

So the CPAP will be here on the 2nd. Life would be so much easier if specialists and medical procedures weren’t booked so far out in advance and healthcare was free. Then it would be really awesome if I didn’t have to have so many fucking health issues to begin with!

Next up is getting used to it, and the final step is hoping I don’t have CSA, and it actually restores my energy. Never thought I would be so excited for a device I could shove up my nose and throw a harness over my head with a hose attached to it, but the nose part isn’t that much different than the silicone nasal dilator I’ve been sleeping with most of the time.

Also, I may not miss stomach sleeping as much as I thought because it’s already hard to sleep in that position since I just can’t breathe.

Due to some reward thing Tom got, we got a hefty discount on breakfast at Burger King where I got a brief case of acid reflux, though the pancakes and tater tots that gave it to me were well worth it. Variety is nice every now and then, and I can’t remember the last time I had pancakes.

Tom finally got his lab results. LabCorp is really slow compared to Quest. His cholesterol is low, like it always has been. His TSH is only 2.5. I would feel like I was about to die with it that low! I remember how horrible I felt the last time mine was down there. His platelets are also a little low, and so is his protein, but that’s mostly connected to his plasma donations. His A1C jumped a bit to 5.8, but his vitamin D is in the normal range.

Woke up to find a message from Circle reminding me to return the tester if I haven’t already. Shouldn’t they have gotten it by now? Then there was another message asking if there was anything else they could do for us. Well, they—and the CPAP company—could have gotten the damn thing to me sooner.

He also learned something from the CPAP company that kind of pissed me off. All we had to do was have the CPAP company get a copy of my prescription from Lincare. It would have been expired, but all we needed to do was answer a questionnaire, and they would’ve sent us the damn CPAP!

So we kind of did and didn’t waste hundreds of dollars on Circle. Yes, we could have saved the money, but through Circle, we were able to learn more about my condition. Suspecting my sleep apnea worsened was one thing, but having it confirmed through testing was another. And now I’m also alerted to the fact that I could have CSA. God, I hope not!

No nightmares, but I did have breathing issues and the usual weird/shitty dreams.

An eye doctor we’ve seen that we didn’t really care for was my primary care doctor in one of my dreams. I was embarrassed because I realized that for the second time, I had forgotten to wear a bra. I wondered if he would think I never wore one.

Then we paid $27 for me to go to some place (a school?) and take a huge test, although I don’t know what it was for. I had been up since 10:00 PM, and it was already 2:00 PM, and I was only halfway done. Having been under the impression it would only take a couple of hours, I was getting frustrated and wondered if we should just go home. “It’s up to you,” Tom said.

Then I was telling him I was going to shut down one of my email addresses, but wasn’t sure which one.

Lastly, I ran into Marie, who didn’t sound anything like she really does.

We tested the dolls yesterday. I’m still experimenting with both Jade and Joy. I had Tom see if he could trigger a response out of either of them, and he got nothing from Joy and minimal responses from Jade. He asked her to light up two of the lights on the EMF reader, and she didn’t. But then as soon as I took over, twice she lit up two of them!

When I got up today, I approached Joy with the reader and said, “Good morning, Joy. Light up if you can hear me.”

Nothing.

“Good morning, Jade. Light up if you can hear me.”

Blink.

So yeah, pretty interesting. Don’t know that I’ll ever be 100% convinced she’s haunted—much less find out by who and why—but I still have a lot more learning and experimenting to do. I have other dolls I would like to test as well at some point in time.