Something Died In Me Culturally in OLD

When I was young, I believed in everything of the imagination. All holidays. Halloween, for example.

I no longer do.
Or Christmas (I did when I was a Christian).
I have no belief in ANY holidays now. Thanksgiving in the USA is a time when people that can afford the food, feast. I was taught that with along with all the pilgrim and Indian crap. Once I became rather Agnostic then Atheist, I questioned all religious holidays. I did some digging into many religions and paganism as well. Yeah, so many Christian holidays are borrowed from Paganism. I read much history and saw how so many patriotic holidays are just bullshit. Our USA 4th of July Independence day is a lot of Illusions about how this country came to be. Lies. As an atheist I don’t care about anyone’s religious holidays. I see them as all holidays I cannot relate to in all honesty. New Year’s Eve was once a fun time but since I went sober and have very few people I am in contact with, I do not celebrate. The Calendar numbers change. Yeah, I admit it, I am no fun not celebrating ANY holiday. They are to me, all made up. Americans can look at the holidays of other countries in the same way.

I used to make a big deal of my birthday but after a few decades that gets (literally) Old. For some years it was whoopee. Then it was whoopee with alcohol and drugs. Then whoopee with just alcohol and no GRATITUDE for having lived so long with mindfulness about how fortunate I was to have had such a good life and to have lived another year.

Holidays seem FAKE to me. Good for the economy in the USA. Except for the dull holidays like Memorial and Labor Day. Those are more sincere to me. Or they were.

I am judged as an oddity in my views - but that is how I have always been. It once bothered me but now I shrug it off.

I think that what some would FEEL a holiday for me is when something joyful and good happens through me or me joining with others that does not take any money to do it. For example, great joy and humor tonight with my birds climbing around on me. One was affectionate and the other just chasing her on me. “Chasing The Birds On Me” Holiday. Something joyful. I suppose that is how some religious feel Christmas or other religious days are. But those are pure fantasies handed down for generations. Artificial to me. Culturally handed down and people TAUGHT that they are very special whoopee days. They often seem so insincere to me.

I probably sound like I am no fun - and I would agree. Holidays WERE fun to me in the past just as so much Fantasy fiction books and film were. I cannot believe I have come to a point in my life or lived so long that there is no joy in any holiday. Often, loneliness. But hey at least I am honest about it.